when promulgating your mental ponderosities

Random Thoughts

2012-01-28T20:05:00.002-06:00

1. I'm still stewing over the republican debate from like 2 weeks ago - you know, the one where Gingrich got all bent out of whack because the moderator was asking him about whether he actually asked his second wife for an open marriage? Yeah. That one. In his 'answer' he said that he didn't think it was a valid question to ask. I'm sorry, but if you ever mention "defending the sanctity of marriage" as one of your tenets for becoming president, then yes, you asking your second wife for an open marriage is a perfectly valid question to ask. We'll ignore the fact that you have been married 3 times*, and admitted to cheating on 2 of the three. Which, by the way, degrade the sanctity of marriage much more than allowing homosexual persons to get married.
* I don't care if you get divorced, I don't think it makes you a bad person, nor do I think you should be punished for it, but again, I'm just using the republican talking point against them.

2. Let's ignore the whole Stop Online Piracy Act (as it is currently off the table), but if SOPA had passed, I'm sure you'd be able to get my blog shut down for me posting a picture that has been passed around Facebook (not to mention that Facebook would be shut down) for the last couple of weeks. The picture I'm talking about is of course this one:

3. Where the hell can I get myself a shit load of Girl Scout cookies? Because I have never wanted to support them more than I do right now.

4. Sorry my blog has been so political recently (besides, I figure if you're reading my blog, it really isn't for my entries on republican candidates, but then, you probably also aren't reading this thing for my rapier wit. Perhaps I shall distract you with a picture of my diabetic cat (a cat, whose blood sugar was at 61 this evening so we didn't give him a shot). Yes, that will do, sugar cat, that will do.

Presidential Candidate: Mitt Romney

2012-01-27T20:27:00.003-06:00

Note: Per a request from Lon, I'm going to skip over Ron Paul for now. I also may come back to do Buddy Roemer (it will depend on if he's dropped out or not)

Synopsis: A robot has decided to take his personality chip for a spin and see if his study of the human race has paid off enough to win the presidential nomination

Current Job: None - he pretty much goes around stumping for other republicans at this point in time. He is the ex-governor of Massachusetts, which while he was governor, managed to essentially obtain universal healthcare for the state.

Spouse: Ann, who is a breast cancer survivor and suffers from MS

Kids: 5 - all boys.

Stance on:

Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act: Repeal and replace
Roe V Wade: Would like to overturn Roe v Wade; but feels that anti-abortion legislation should be on a state level, not national.
Funding Planned Parenthood: Against.
Embryonic Stem Cell Research: Against (because it is creating life in order to destroy it)
Afghanistan: The decisions about Afghanistan should be made by our military's top brass.
Iran: We must create stronger sanctions against Iran to prevent them from obtaining nuclear weapons
Budget: Cut spending, limit amount allowed to be spent.
Taxes: Lower Corporate taxes, set new limits on personal tax rates
Mexico/US border: Build a high-tech fence and provide the manpower to back it up.
Education: Education should not be confined to Teacher's Unions. Admits there is a problem and recommends providing incentives to students (such as top performing students get full scholarships to state schools)
Energy: We need to rely more on America's oil sources.
LGBT issues: Against marriages and even civil unions (as of 2008), but of course we all know how much he waffles.

Miscellaneous:

Chances of Winning: If the media is to be believed, it is now a two man race between Gingrich and Romney.

Who would vote for him: Older slightly liberal leaning folks. Those that are scared by Gingrich.

Clips from the fake news (since that's all I need):
-Colbert Report: Clinching the Nomination
-The Daily Show: Earning more in a day than the median American
-Fox News: State of the Union Reaction

Campaign Talking Points (from his website):

Tax Reform

Keep personal income tax at the same rates; however eliminate taxes on Dividends, Interest and Capital Gains for those with an adjusted gross income of less than $200,000.
Eliminate the death tax
Overhaul the system to provide lower, flatter rates over a wide base.
Reduce the corporate tax rate from 35% to 25%
Switch to a Territorial tax system (instead of Worldwide) for corporations.

Regulatory Reform

Repeal the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act
Repeal Dodd-Frank
Streamline the FDA approval process
Enact comprehensive patent reform (it takes too long to get a patent)
Repeal Sarbanes/Oxley

Labor Reform

Allow businesses to reallocate their capital as they see fit
Support states in pursuing "Right to work" laws
Prohibit the use for political purposes of funds automatically deducted from worker paychecks
Eliminate redundancy in federal retraining programs by consolidating programs and funding streams, centering as much activity as possible in a single agency
Give states authority to manage retraining programs by block granting federal funds
Facilitate the creation of Personal Reemployment Accounts
Encourage greater private sector involvement in retraining programs
Raise visa caps for highly skilled workers
Grant permanent residency to eligible graduates with advanced degrees in math, science, and engineering

Financial Reform

Immediately cut non-security discretionary spending by 5 percent
Reform and restructure Medicaid as block grant to states
Align wages and benefits of government workers with market rates
Reduce federal workforce by 10 percent via attrition
Undertake fundamental restructuring of government programs and services
Cap federal spending at 20 percent of GDP
Pursue a Balanced Budget Amendment

Energy Reform

Create a One-Stop-Shop to streamline the permitting process for common activities
Amend the Clean Air Act to remove carbon dioxide from its purview.
More nuclear power plant approvals
Open America's reserves (I take this to mean drill in ANWR)
Regulations to make it easier to produce oil from oil shale
Support pipelines to get oil from Canada into the US.
Concentrate alternative energy research funding on basic research

Healthcare Reform

Repeal and replace Obamacare
Give states the responsibility, flexibility, and resources to act
Empower citizens to buy their own insurance
Focus federal regulation of health care on making markets work
Reform the medical liability system
Make health care more like a market and less like a government program

Trade

The US needs to pursue new free trade agreements across the pacific.
Support World Trade Organization Negotiations
Complete the the Trans-Pacific Partnership
Put China on notice about needing to play by the rules and honor the agreements already signed.

Presidential Candidate: Jon Huntsman

2012-01-11T18:30:00.000-06:00

Synopsis: Not well known Technocrat, Mormon ex-governor of Utah throws his hat in the ring for 2012 presidential nomination.

Current Job: Recently vacated his job as Ambassador to China; now running for president.

Spouse: Mary Kaye

Kids: 7 - 5 bio-kids and 2 adopted - one from China and one from India, who is Hindu and as such, the family does celebrate Diwali. Additionally, even though Jon was raised Mormon, his wife was raised Episcopalian, Jon did attend Lutheran school, and his kids attended Catholic school.

Stance on:

Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act: Repeal
Roe V Wade: Would like to overturn Roe v Wade.
Funding Planned Parenthood: Against. Is fine with PP's non-abortion health services, but has said he will veto any budget that includes funding of Planned Parenthood.
Embryonic Stem Cell Research: Supports Stem Cell Research, but not of the embryonic kind.
Afghanistan: If we don't have a winning strategy, we should just cut our losses and get out.
Iran: Unclear
Budget: Is pro tax cut, and thinks we need to spend less
Taxes: would like to implement a flat tax rate
Mexico/US border: Does not like the idea of a fence, but also feels that we're at a point where there's no other option
Education: Feels the government shouldn't be running schools, but should be a clearinghouse of ideas.
Energy: We need to end our dependence on foreign oil and need to start researching new energy sources
LGBT issues: Is against gay marriage, but is pro gay union. Feels that it should be the states' right to decide.

Miscellaneous:

Professes a firm belief in Science and rejects the theory that faith and evolution are mutually exclusive.
Believes that we should trust scientists when it comes to global warming.
Is pro-life but also refused to sign a pledge to only appoint pro-lifers to the cabinet and stop federal funding of abortions in the event that he became president.

Chances of Winning: Probably not very good since most of the independents that are voting in republican primaries are leaning toward Ron Paul. Also, he doesn't get much media coverage which means most people don't know much about him. It's possible that he could become a running mate for someone trying to appeal to the younger generation.

Who would vote for him: younger, more liberal leaning folks. Would possibly do better running as an independent or democrat.

Clips from the fake news (since that's all I need):
-Colbert Report: Huntsman Interview
-The Daily Show: Scientists?!
-Fox News: Are you a candidate?

Campaign Talking Points (from his website):
Huntsman has one of the most comprehensive websites of the candidates I've researched.

Tax Reform

Simplify the the personal income tax code and lower rates which will eliminate all deductions and credits, but would also lower the brackets to 8%, 14% and 23% (currently 15%, 25% and 34%)
Eliminate the alternative minimum tax
Reduce the corporate tax rate from 35% to 25%
Shift to a Territorial Tax System which will allow US based multinational corporations to bring jobs to America.
Implement a Tax Holiday for repatriation of corporate profits which will allow companies to make capital investments
Eliminate taxes on capital gains and dividends in order to eliminate the double-taxation on investments - He feels that people do not invest their money in the stock market because whatever they earn is going to be taxed even though the money that was initially put up was taxed via income taxes.

Regulatory Reform

Repeal the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act
Repeal Dodd-Frank
Streamline the FDA approval process
Enact comprehensive patent reform (it takes too long to get a patent)
Repeal Sarbanes/Oxley
End the EPA regulatory overreach by nixing the Ozone Standard Revision and Joint Fuel Efficiency rules (the fuel efficiency rules ban converting heavy duty equipment to natural gas)
Develop and deliver new alternative energies by expediting the environmental permitting process
Implement a cultural change in regulatory agencies by mandating that timelines are kept and citizens are treated as customers
Will instruct the National Labor Relations Board to allow Boeing to move to South Carolina (otherwise Boeing will have to move to a foreign country) in order to keep American jobs in America.
Will require the Commodities Future Trading Commission to do a cost-benefit analysis before implementing any regulations
Privatize Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
Will require all government agencies (including the 'independent' ones) to do a cost-benefit analysis before implementing any regulations.

Financial Reform

End "too big to fail"
Maximize derivatives transparency
Repeal Dodd-Frank
End Wall Street's reliance on excessive short term leverage
Eliminate the tax deduction of interest paid which puts an emphasis on debt instead of equity (it's unclear if this is meant for corporations only or if it's also meant for homeowners)
Fix the Basel 3 Accord which makes it easier to invest at a lower rate in sovereign debt
Ensure a stable dollar policy
Dismantle Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae as they stand now
Restore the rule of law to prevent things such as the Robo-signings
Work with Europe to end the European Sovereign Debt Crisis

Energy Independence

Streamline approval for new energy production (drilling can be done in the US, in the Gulf, and in Alaska)
Break down barriers to using Fracking to obtain natural gas
Embrace emerging technologies like Coal-to-liquid fuel
Purchase more oil from Canada
Eliminate the subsidies that make us more dependent on one type of fuel source (read: gas prices are going to skyrocket)
Ensure that Transportation Fuel markets are competitive
Eliminate regulations that limit energy innovations and transportation fuels from reaching the consumer
End regulatory road blocks to alternative fuels
Spur investment in modernizing our power grid (what happens if everyone decides to go with electric cars that require being plugged in at night?)
Encourage state-based solutions to air quality and other problems - Iowa has wind, but not geothermal power, California has geothermal, but no wind.
Force Washington to face the facts - energy policy must be based on sound science, transparent government, and thorough public debate.

Energy Security

We must break oil's monopoly as being our primary fuel
We should open American lands to oil drilling - including the Gulf and Alaska
We should research oil shale as a viable oil supply
We need to create other means of energy

Trade

The US needs to pursue new free trade agreements across the pacific.
Support World Trade Organization Negotiations
Complete the the Trans-Pacific Partnership

National Security

We are done with Iraq and Afghanistan
We must alter our methods in order to fight the new methods employed by the terrorists
We must take care of our veterans
Above all, we cannot allow the terrorists to obtain weapons of mass destruction.

Education

Parents know what's best for their kids - Washington should just be a clearing house of ideas and should encourage a more innovative education system
Establish meaningful and transparent national standards benchmarked against the world and let the states determine how best to get there (The US should be setting standards not trying to just meet them)
The federal government shouldn't be in the habit of running schools, but schools that do well should be rewarded and those that do poorly should be punished.
Scale down the department of education
School should allow kids to find out what they're good at and let them capitalize on it - when a kid graduates from high school, they should be both college and career ready
We shouldn't push for all kids to go to college
We should fund early intervention and preschools
Will work to make sure that colleges have the means to attract the best and brightest while trying to bring the cost of college down

Foreign Policy

To be good abroad, we must be great at home - we need to manage our resources well and choose where to exercise our power even better
Aggressive promotion of trade liberalization
We should remain steadfast in our traditional alliances, but we also must work on creating strong and lasting relationships with world powers - specifically mentions working with India and China.
We need to create a better and more lasting relationship with Mexico
We need to maintain our military as one of the leading forces by allowing the military to adapt to threats of the 21st century.

Presidential Candidate: Newt Gingrich

2012-01-08T17:41:00.000-06:00

Synopsis: Former Speaker of the House who previously had called for the impeachment of Clinton during the Monica Scandal whilst cheating on his dying wife is running for president.

Current Job: Retired Politician

Spouse: Callista, President of the Gingrich Production Company. Note: 3rd wife. Newt keeps finds his new wife while cheating on his current wife. If I were Callista, I'd have a P.I., and divorce lawyer on retainer.

Kids: 2 (with his first wife, Jackie)

Stance on:

Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act: Repeal and replace (see below)
Roe V Wade: Rather than overturning RvW, he'd like to rework the legal system. That being said, he says he's okay with abortion in the case of rape, incest and health of mother.
Funding Planned Parenthood: Against
Embryonic Stem Cell Research: Against
Afghanistan: Hasn't commented much on it, but feels that we are pulling out too quickly.
Iran: put pressure on Iraq to end contact with Iran
Budget: Downsize the government, stop spending beyond our means, it must be balanced
Taxes: opposes high taxes, encourage research and development with tax incentives, will ask the public before implementing any major tax reform, get rid of the marriage tax and cut middle class taxes, encourage investment by getting rid of capital gains tax, can use the tax code to reinforce families
Mexico/US border: Secure the border, but doesn't sound like he'd build a fence along the entire thing.
Education: wants to have charter schools, will push for patriotic education, wouldn't charge interest on math and science degree loans, would allow prayer in schools. (see education segment below from his website)
Energy: believes the Kyoto treaty is bad for the nation and the environment, give incentives for renewable resources and conservation, open ANWR to drilling, supports eliminating the gas tax (but if you see below, he wants to add gas royalties)
LGBT issues: Against giving domestic partner rights (but thinks they should have the ability to leave estates to partners and the right to see them in the hospital), constitutional amendment to protect the traditional family, gays should not be allowed to adopt children, believes homosexuality is a sin, but gays should be allowed to be teachers.

Miscellaneous:

Worked as a consultant for Freddie Mac (during the years of growth in the housing bubble), to the tune of $1.6 million.
Had 84 ethics sanctions levied against him by congress while he was still in congress. Had to pay $300,000 in restitution.
Wants to mine the moon. Which I suppose means we'd have a space program again...
Is calling to bring back various programs that were popular during his Speaker of the House days...which were the days when Clinton was in office...so is he saying that the government under Clinton wasn't that bad?
Has said in the past that he would like to give rewards to girls who graduate high school as virgins.
Is considered the worst candidate for women's rights based on past voting records (beating both Bachmann and Santorum). He has voted almost 100% pro-life during his congress days. Perry, who just recently started saying that abortion should not be allowed in any case, is actually the best bet for women's rights based on history which is a very scary idea.

Chances of Winning: If we are to believe the Iowa Caucus, not too good. BUT he still seems to be the darling of the media, so he might have a better chance than predicted, however he should have too many skeletons in his closet to win over the party.

Who would vote for him: Looks like he's trying to go for the retiree vote. And based on his commercials, he's trying to take votes away from those who would be voting for Romney. But I'm not sure exactly who would normally vote for him...maybe republicans who liked the Clinton days, or republicans who find Santorum scary?

Clips from the fake news (since that's all I need):
-Colbert Report: Gingrich: Bond Villian
-The Daily Show: Even the republicans are scared of him
-Fox News: Bret Baier catches up with the former house speaker

Campaign Talking Points (from his website):

Repeal the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act ("Obamacare")

Replace it with an alternative that saves money by empowering doctors and patients to make decisions instead of bureaucrats.
Allow people to shop for insurance across state lines
Give a 'generous tax credit' to offset the cost of insurance OR the ability to deduct (up to a certain amount) the value of their health insurance.
Create a "High Risk Pool" that requires states to cover the uninsured who will not be covered by insurance carriers
reinforce laws that prohibit insurers from dropping people who become sick
Allow workers to have access to Health Savings Accounts
Limit healthcare fraud by moving to a paperless system
Stop junk malpractice lawsuits which drive up the cost of healthcare
Inform patients on cost and quality of care
End tax-payer paid abortions
Defund Planned Parenthood
Ban funding to organizations that promote abortions overseas
Protect healthcare workers' right to conscience by not forcing them to recommend, or participate in, something they are morally against (abortions specifically listed, but I assume birth control would also be included in this)

Return to Robust Job creation

Dramatically reduce taxes on businesses and allowing more deductions
Require those on extended unemployment to take training classes to be more hireable
Allow an optional flat 15% Federal income tax. It would preserve deductions for charitable donations, home ownership, and create a new personal deduction of $12,000 per American
Repeal Sarbanes-Oxley Act
Repeal Community Reinvestment Act
Repeal Frank Dodd Law
Break up Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac (but he didn't recommend this while he was a consultant for them? odd, that)
Replace the EPA with "Environmental Solutions Agency" that works with businesses and governments

Unleash America's Full Energy Production Potential

oil, natural gas, coal, biofuel, wind, nuclear, oil shale and more
reduce America's dependency on foreign oil
cut bureaucratic red tape for responsible drilling (both off shore and on land)
Development of processes to use oil shale as a source of oil. We supposedly have 3x the amount of oil of Saudi Arabia all stuck in oil shale.
Give coastal states federal revenue to allow off-shore drilling
reduce frivolous environmental lawsuits by requiring the loser to pay all legal fees for the winning side
Finance cleaner energy research with new oil and gas royalties (I'm hearing that our gas prices will go up...what about you?)
Replace the EPA with the ESA (outlined above) which will work with businesses and governments to achieve better environmental outcomes while considering the impact of federal environmental policies on job creation and and the cost of energy. (I'm taking this to mean that if companies say "no, we don't want to help the environment" this agency will acquiesce to their wishes)

Save Medicare and Social Security

Give seniors the choice to go with either Medicare or a personalized system in the private sector
Reform Medicaid to allow states more freedom to "personalize" their systems to provide better care and provide health insurance for low-income families.
Reward quality care by providing larger reimbursements to providers who provide better care
Incentivize patients to seek out facilities that provide quality care
Allow Medicare and Medicaid to provide benefits that encourage, incentivize, and reward healthy behavior.
Protect the frail, elderly and infirm from the state's arbitrary decision to terminate life (ummm....Terry Schiavo maybe....? It's just mostly that I don't understand how it's the state's decision unless it's something like a homeless person, a person that has no next of kin, or someone in jail with the death penalty...)

Balance the Federal Budget

No points listed.

Control the Mexican/American Border by Jan 1, 2014

Establish English as the official language of America
Reform legal Visa system (an entrepreneur who wants to create jobs in America shouldn't have to spend $1000's in legal fees first; College graduates in America shouldn't have to go to their home countries in order to get a work visa - will try to implement a system where they get a work visa upon graduation instead; a farmer should have the ability to hire cheap legal labor)
Visas should have biometric technology
Make it easier to deport criminals and gang members
Defend 2nd Amendment rights to stop Mexican gangs at the border (um...that seems like a bad idea - seems like we're more likely to have people going about shooting Mexicans because "they could have been in a gang")
Make it easier for law-abiding visitors to come to the US (A Brazilian who wants to visit Disneyworld and spend $1000's while he's at it, shouldn't have to wait 4 months to get a visa)
Create a temporary or day labor work visa system with biometric technology run by one of the credit card companies (which have low fraud rates).
Create a path for "earned" legality - those that have been living her illegally can 'earn' legality by becoming involved with their community, passing a background check, proving they can support themselves without the help of Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid, buy private health insurance, be proficient (or within a specified amount of time) in English. Once the person in question is legal, he will have to pay a $5000 fine for being in the US illegally.
Minors brought to the US illegally by their parents can earn their legal status by joining the military when they are of age. Unlike the DREAM act, there won't be a way for the child to petition to get their parents legal status.
Ensure those that become citizens learn American history and exceptionalizm.
Once the "path to legality" and the worker program is implemented, anyone entering the US illegally should face more severe penalties. Those helping people enter the US illegally will face even more severe penalties.
There is a point of "secure the border to prevent terrorist organizations from sneaking weapons and agents into the US" (This must be a recent problem because I was under the impression that most of the terrorists that we think of and are concerned about actually enter the US via plane and not by crossing either the Canadian or Mexico borders...)
possibly move up to one half of the war department bureaucrats to Texas, Arizona and New Mexico
Round-the-clock drone flights monitoring the border
multi-layer, strategic fencing in urban areas

Revitalize our National Security System

Restructure and adequate fund our security agencies within a grand strategy
Victory over those who seek to kill us or limit American power
Two of the points on his "solutions" page essentially point to declaring war on Radical Islam
Protect those who abide by our same values (views America as the 'abiding alternative to tyranny')
Military must be used judiciously and with clear, obtainable goals that are understood by congress
"Incentivize" math and sciences in order to create bigger and better weapons (I want to know how he's going to do that - by making all new graduate mechanical and computer engineers work for Lockheed-Martin, JPL, or Sikorski upon graduation?)

Maximize Speed and Impact of Medical Breakthroughs

Remove unnecessary obstacles that block new treatments from reaching patients.
Emphasize spending toward urgent national priorities (such as diseases of the brain - e.g. parkinson's, autism, alzheimer's)
Modernize the FDA to get drugs that work to patients quicker

Restore the Proper Role of the Judiciary Branch

Allow the president and/or congress to remove judges who do not uphold the constitution.
Nominate conservative judges who base their decisions on the constitution.
Combat judicial activism

Enforce the 10th Amendment

Transfer powers currently under Federal purview to the individual States

Enforce the 2nd Amendment

Newt is a member of the NRA
Allow imports of guns that can legally be made in the US.

Education

Let parents pick which school their kid is to go to
Institute a Pell Grant-type system for Kindergarten through 12th grade
Require transparency and accountability for achievement
Implement a "no limits" charter system - that is, all money allocated for student education goes to the school, schools manage their own staff regardless of tenure rules, schools define their own curriculum, schools are not exempt from reporting requirements, states to allow schools to "franchise" their model without limitation, state has no caps on the number of charter schools, process of approving charter schools is quick and efficient.
Pay for Performance for teachers
Welcome business talent into the classrooms - allow the retired physicist or the working engineer to come into the class room and teach a few hours a week. The theory is that those that aren't trained teachers are going to bring more adult expectations to the classroom.
All students must take American History classes.
All students must be able to read, and reading assignments should reinforce American History.
Protect the rights of home-schooled children by allowing them to participate in the same tax-payer funded extra curriculars that public school children participate in
Encourage schools to think outside the box - a la Daniel's program in Indiana (students who graduate high school early are given the money saved on them by skipping grades as an automatic college scholarship), College of the Ozarks in Missouri (work study that allows college kids to graduate debt free), and the Virtual Florida school (a 24/7 individualized schooling over the internet)
Shrink the Department of Education - it's only role should be to do research and collect data - not mandate what schools should be teaching.
Allow teachers to use historical examples involving religion.
Allow teachers to answer questions about religion and/or discussing it objectively in the classrooms.

Miscellaneous

Protect religious expression in public places by allowing crosses, creches, and menorahs
Would eliminate the 39 Bureaucratic positions that are not accountable to congress (created by Obama)
Respect each sovereign nation's choice of capital and have an embassy in that location (the only one we discriminate against is Isreal - Isreal's capital is Jerusalem but our embassy is in Tel Aviv)
End all lawsuits against states that are immigration related (specifically in Arizona and South Carolina). "The Obama Administration refuses to enforce federal immigration laws, and instead sues states who are merely trying to enforce the laws that the federal government neglects."
Approve the Keystone XL pipeline (map). A pipeline to transport oil to the gulf coast refineries.

Family

2012-01-04T15:19:00.000-06:00

The requisite Family Portrait for Christmas:

My family - Me, Shawn, Dani, Mom and Dad.

Presidential Candidate: Michele Bachmann

2012-01-03T17:13:00.000-06:00

Synopsis: The TEA party "it" girl since Sarah Palin announced that she would not run for president. Also has replaced Sarah Palin in most liberals' nightmares.

Current Job: Congresswoman representing Minnesota

Spouse: Marcus, a Christian Counsellor.

Kids: 5 bio-kids, plus 23 foster kids throughout the years.

Stance on:

Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act: Against. Will repeal if elected.
Roe V Wade: Repeal it
Funding Planned Parenthood: Against
Embryonic Stem Cell Research: Against. Believes that research can kill women.
Afghanistan: We should stay there longer. It is a mistake to leave so early.
Iran: Unclear. But believes we should fight the war on terror until it is won. Also states on her website that a nuclear-capable Iran is a real threat.
Budget: Massive spending cuts, get rid of the Department of Education, Department of Commerce and the EPA.
Taxes: reduce number of brackets. lower business taxes
Mexico/US border: Build a fence. Not just one, but two.
Education: Unclear
Energy: Allow drilling in ANWR and deepwater oil rigs. Explore oil shale and open federal lands to logging/mining operations.
LGBT issues: Against. Has a comment on her website about Obama caring about being politically correct even if it is to the detriment of our military (which I'm assuming means she's against the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell)

Miscellaneous:

HPV vaccine: Thinks it causes mental retardation in persons heretofore known to be 'normal'

Chances of Winning: Let's put it this way, she has a much better chance of being selected as a running mate, and that's falling pretty quickly... [edited 01/06/12: After the Iowa Caucus, Ms. Bachmann has since suspended her bid for the presidency]

Who would vote for her: Social conservatives, Fiscal conservatives, Evangelicals

Clips from the Fake News (since that's all I need):
-Colbert Report: Bachmann compares herself to John Wayne. Gacy, that is.
-The Daily Show: Bachmann clips.
-Fox News: Interview before the Iowa Caucus (though I assume the video will change as the days go on)

Campaign Talking Points (from her website):

American jobs, right now

Cut federal government spending
Cut federal jobs
Repeal the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (as this is preventing jobs from being created)
Cut taxes (reduce number of tax brackets and cut taxes of businesses)
Legalize American energy production and America's natural resources (revive the logging and metal mining industries, and allow mining/drilling/logging on federal lands)
Repeal job-killing red-tape
Increase exports, specifically mentioned are to Columbia, Panama and South Korea
Allow investment in America by allowing the private sector to control the markets with little government involvement
Foster innovation (no indication of how this is to be done)
Enforce Immigration laws

Job creation and growth

Obama has sucked it up thus far
Obamacare places a burden on companies (by requiring them to provide healthcare to their employees)
The EPA kills jobs by having carbon regulation mandates
Bachmann will cut spending, reduce taxes, kill the Internal Revenue Code, repeal Obamacare, and stop Cap-and-trade so companies can function once again.

No debt ceiling increase

The only way she'll allow an increase in the debt ceiling is if Obamacare is repealed.

A healthier nation

Repeal Obamacare, stabilize Medicare
Allow families and doctors to make decisions about insurance, quality of care and course of treatment.

A more secure nation

Israel is our true friend
True threat is a nucularly armed Iran
Current president is more concerned about political correctness than making sure our military is fully funded in both money and personnel.
Will not rest until the war on terror is won.

Affordable energy

Allow drilling in ANWR
Allow deepwater-drilling (the BP oil spill was just a fluke)
Explore use of Oil Shale for oil

Gifting

2012-01-02T15:17:00.001-06:00

A gift from my mom - a pitcher made by my cousin's wife, Dany. She blogs at WellieBellie and she (and my cousin) sell their wares via etsy at Art Haus Ceramics. They also do some art shows in Colorado, so keep your eyes peeled.

The yellow flowers (which are fake) are from my works' Christmas party from a few weeks ago.

The pictures in the background were taken by yours truly (and Shawn), and in order from left to right, top to bottom are a gulf fritillary from my back yard (mine), a church in Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland (Shawn), a lamp at Treasure Island in Las Vegas (mine), a ghost plant succulent in my front yard (mine), coneflowers from Mount Vernon (Shawn), and a California Poppy in our front yard (mine). You can read how to set up your photos like this in this blog entry: Procrastination: Over

Grr...Arg!

2011-12-31T21:56:00.003-06:00

Do you realize that I have had at least 13 phone numbers in my life? I found this out today when Shawn was filling out an application for his HSA at a credit union. He had decided to set up a regular savings account at the same time and opted to make it a joint account.

Apparently they do a quick and dirty history check or credit check or something because they give you like 4 multiple choice questions that you have to answer correctly before they'll let you open the account. One of those questions is "which of the following was your phone number?" and then give you 4 options. I went with "none of the above" because none of the numbers looked familiar. That was apparently the wrong answer.

Now Shawn has to wait until (likely) Tuesday when they will call me/email me to ask me God knows what to figure out that I am who I say I am. All because I didn't remember a phone number that I had at some point in my life.

Voting

2011-12-29T18:47:00.003-06:00

This year, I may do something I've never done before. I may actually vote in the republican primary in Texas. You see, Texas is different than other states - you can easily switch parties back and forth every 2 years. (mostly because they send you a new voter registration card which has political affiliation blank). Since I am a firm believer in "one shall not complain when one did not participate", I have decided that I can only complain about those up for election if I at least made a decision on who should be there.

As Obama will be running for re-election, and there really isn't any choice that can be made for third parties (no primary elections); ipso facto, the republican primary is the only point where 'decision' comes in prior to the big November election.

As I usually don't keep track of who wants to run while they're all switching around all the time - "is he running, is he not" type stuff, I have decided that I should research each of the (still running) candidates and create a comparison. I'll try to do 1 a week...which should keep me busy until primary day...which I think is in March.

2011: Meme version

2011-12-21T20:14:00.004-06:00

1. What did you do in 2011 that you had never done before?
I participated in an organized biking event (the Austin Livestrong Challenge). We rode 65 miles through the rolling hill country of Texas.

2. Do you keep New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
I stopped making New Year's resolutions because you have to want to change, you can't just say "ah it's a new year, I need to change". well, I mean I guess you could, but it just seems odd. As Yoda said, "Do or do not, there is no try."

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes - my sister-in-law had her third child in late October. Shawn's cousin, Heather, gave birth to her first kid around the same time. AND Shawn's other cousin, Val, gave birth to her second kid in June, I think... Also, my friend's wife had a baby at the end of May.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no

5. What countries did you visit?
None. We be boring.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn't get in 2011?
a calm year, cat-wise. So perhaps no trips to the e-vet?

7. What dates from 2011 will be etched in your memory and why?
May 29, June 13 and December 15 - Mah boobs. The 29th being when I found the lump, the 13th being when I got the biopsy proving that it was benign, and the 15th because it was my 6-month follow-up (in which the lump has doubled in size, thus meaning I get to have surgery in early 2012. yay).

8. What is your biggest achievement of the year?
Not being bitten by a rattlesnake while in Washington State.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not realizing I was walking over a rattlesnake while in Washington.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes - I'm going to consider the lump as an illness.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My cat's life...well, both of them, really...

12. Whose behavior merited recognition?
My bosses, my husband.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Those involved with the Penn State Scandal.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The money that I actually spent? It was spent on the cats. sigh...

15. What did you get really excited about?
Going to an Indian wedding in Washington.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
I don't know...Phoenix's Listomania?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you a) happier or sadder, b) thinner or fatter, c) richer or poorer?
Same, fatter by 2 pounds, and probably richer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
vacations, and exercising.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
it's probably tied between less internet surfing and less watching TV.

20. How will you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve will be with my family (they're currently on their way here - Yay!!), and Christmas day will be with Shawn's family. Boxing Day will be with Shawn's extended family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I've been in love for a while now, so other than falling in love with TV shows, no.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
I do like Once Upon a Time, But Misfits will probably the one I remember as being in 2011.

23. What was the best book you read?
Altar of Eden by James Rollins, probably... Especially since I re-read a bunch of my other books.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
"Where soul meets body" by Death Cab for Cutie. Even though, of course, that song came out in 2005...

25. What did you want and get?
To travel to a new state (Washington)

26. What did you want and not get?
To go to Olympic National Park. Also, to go to Vancouver with the husband for his conference (which was over our anniversary), but alas, I was at my own conference in Maryland. That's right, we spent our anniversary in different countries and couldn't even call each other.

27. What was your favorite film of 2011?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 I would surmise...we don't get out much...

28. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I had a party for the first time in many, many years. I turned 30.

29. What one thing would have made your year immensely more satisfying?
Not having a lump...

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2011?
plain tee shirts and jeans.

31. What kept you sane?
my family and my friends.

32. What political issues stirred you the most?
Bachmann just scares the shit out of me...

33. Who did you miss?
my family and friends who don't live close by.

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011?
Feel your ta-tas.

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Not really a song, but I love the HEB commercial where the little kids are all dressed for the thanksgiving pageant and there's a line in there about the cousin's bringing the tamales, "a delicioso treat" as the third tamale kid trips and takes a header into the stage. It's awesome.

CATZ!

2011-12-10T22:08:00.003-06:00

1) When your previously heretofore cat with the feeding tube decides to hork up said feeding tube and chew off the end of it, try not to freak out. This is more stressful to the human than the cat. But when that cat opts to re-swallow the still attached feeding tube only to somehow sneeze it into her nasal passages thus causing her to breathe funny (i.e. horribly and stutteringly), it probably really is as stressful to the cat as it is to the humans who have been awake for approximately 3.2 seconds.

2) When you finally make the call that you will take the possibly not breathing and gasping for air cat to the emergency vet, be prepared to wait for a while because the cat will act normal and breathe normally as soon as you get to the vet. You will then question if you just happened to dream it all up.

3) The emergency vet will recommend taking some x-rays to check on the tube placement. These x-rays will indicate that the tube is behind the soft palette instead of in the esophagus as expected. The vet will try to get the tube in the correct orientation. You are welcome to wait in the front lobby watching reruns of Victoria Stilwell's "It's me or the dog" while talking to the receptionist with whom you are on a first name basis because your cat used to be at the e-vet all the time 2 months ago.

4) After the surgery, the cat in question will sneeze upon waking up, thus causing the tube to go into her nasal passages again.

5) The vet will just take the damn tube out.

6) Now you can go home and pray that your cat will eat and drink enough to not need any more feed tube nonsense.

7) Be relieved that the cat does indeed eat and drink.

8) A few days later, take the other cat to the vet because he's got the runs (to make sure it's not worms or other nasties).

9) Try not to be surprised when the vet calls later to state that they think the cat may have a touch of the diabetes (This is much more tolerable if you can pretend that the pronunciation is 'die-uh-bet-us' instead of 'die-us-beet-ees').

10) Do not get worried when the vet also says they will be sending blood to the lab to test for both the diabetes and FELV. Especially since you have been vaccinating your cat against said FELV disease since before birth. It does not help that the tech tells you that the FELV vaccine is not 100% and that her cat, in fact, did get FELV despite being fully vaccinated. Try not to freak out too much when you realize that your possibly FELV+ cat donated blood to your kidney problems cat a month ago.

11) Talk to the vet post blood results to find out that, indeed, your cat has the diabetes. It is expected that you will have to give said cat insulin shots. Do not be alarmed that the insulin recommended for cats costs $100 for a 100-unit vial.

12) Go to the vet to go over how to give your cat the insulin. Try to come up with a way to feed your kidney-issues cat a high carb, low protein diet throughout the day while giving your diabetes cat a high protein, low carb diet with only 2 feedings per day. Keep in mind that never the twain shall meet (i.e. they must eat their own food. bad things happen when they eat the other food).

13) Pay $50 for a bag of low-carb dry food (jeebus christ, cat!) Also, the food has quite a bit of "by-product". Not even the cheap cat food at the pet store has this much by-product in the first 5 ingredients.

14) Read online that you really can feed cats high-protein wet food on a non-prescription diet that is damn close to the prescription diet, and a mite-bit cheaper.

15) Go to PetSmart and spend the better part of an hour in the wet cat food isle reading ingredient lists trying to figure out which ones are low-carb and which ones are not (hint: generally the 'gravy' varieties are higher carb). Seriously think about finding out if you can cook meals for cheaper.

16) Go get a blood glucose meter to track your diabetes cat.

17) Go buy a second blood glucose meter and strips because you didn't realize that glucose meters don't come with test strips and it will take a week for the test strips to come in from Amazon. NOTE: The reason you will buy a secondary glucose meter and test strips is because it will be $40 cheaper than buying just the strips for your first meter.

18) Go home and spend an hour or so trying to get a drop of blood from your cat. Do not get frustrated that every time you manage to get a drop of blood on his ear, he will shake his head thus leaving you to start from square one.

19) Eventually give up on finding out his 'pre' blood sugar. Feed him some food and give him his insulin shot (which he doesn't even realize you're doing. JUST GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY EARS, EVIL WOMAN!

20) Wait almost 2 hours and finally get a good blood drop and test.

Pickles

2011-12-02T22:14:00.002-06:00

"Yeah, I guess I'll take a few mason jars. I can make my own pickles...I love pickled foods."

"well, be careful. Back in the early days they figure people died from stomach cancer way more than other cancers because pickling was the most common form of food preservation. Just so you know."

"No offense, Katina, but if I die from stomach cancer, I think that will come as a surprise to just about everyone."

Black Friday

2011-11-26T09:23:00.004-06:00

So I'm not one to usually go shopping on Black Friday. I hate crowds, and I hate driving around a bunch of psycho drivers who are all trying to get the best parking spot available. Furthermore, I hate getting up at 3 in the morning to go stand in lines for a product that I may or may not be able to get, plus standing in an equally long line in order to get out.

Shawn, on the other hand, has no problems with any of the Black Friday craziness.

Thus we found ourselves leaving the house at 1030 on Thanksgiving to go stand in lines at two different stores. Both of which opened at midnight. Only one of which I expected to have a line (Best Buy). I figured for sure that Old Navy wouldn't have anyone standing at the door. I was wrong. By the time I showed up (at like 1040), there were already 35 people in line. (compared to the Best Buy line which had to be at a couple hundred, though...)

And that's about when the crazy started. There were some kids in line (and I say kids because they were in high school) at the front and they were really there to hold spots for about 10 of their friends. Which is no different than the girls right in front of me who took turns holding each others' spot in line because they were all dumb and wore shorts and t-shirts so they were switching of running to the car to get warm. But I digress. The point was that most people in the line felt that holding spots for people who had heretofore never shown up counted as "cutting in line." After copious amounts of yelling and two of the girls in front of me going and threatening bodily harm, the group of boys got out of line and instead stood across the cross walk.

Now then, at this point, we (the lady behind me and I) figured out that the reason for all the crazy was that Old Navy was giving away a Kodak Easyshare Sport camera to the first 40 customers who purchased $40 worth of clothing. It was also at this point that the lady and I were lamenting that we didn't want to be involved in any Black Friday stampede craziness, we just wanted some $15 jeans. I told her that the deals were valid online as well; but you would have to pay shipping and tax (though shipping was free at $50). So she left while I continued to wait (it wasn't like if I left I'd be able to go home anyway because I was still waiting for Shawn).

At 1145, the manager on duty came out and started handing out the wristbands signifying that you were one of the first 40. Imagine my surprise when I was actually customer 39 and got a wrist band. And shortly after that point, the group of kids at the front realized that they were going to have to purchase $40 worth of clothing to even get the camera and they decided it wasn't worth it so they gave their wrist bands to the people behind me.

It was about this time that Shawn joined me as he had found out that the item he wanted at Best Buy was already sold out (as Best Buy also hands out vouchers for their high ticket items). And so we commenced with our plan of 'get in, get out.' With the added benefit of "get a free camera! Yay!"

Now to do shot comparisons between my existing point and shoot and the new one.

Breaky

2011-11-24T21:50:00.003-06:00

Down here in Texas, there are a bunch of people who have sports decals on their cars, usually these decals include their child's name and, based on the decal, you can figure out which sport and which school they're at. I've blogged about this before.

A while ago, Shawn saw one that had the cat's name under the little cat stick figure. The cat's name: Burger Foot. (thank god I know what my next cat's name is going to be, though Shawn has asked what happens when Actual Burger Foot meets New Burger Foot. I said he was right, maybe we need to name our cat Taco Paw.)

On Wednesday, driving to work, I pulled up behind a car that had a karate decal with Breaky^2 underneath it.

Shawn calmly asked if I thought there were any other sports that their son, Breaky Squared, partook in.

I could not stop laughing.

Sadness on the state of the world

2011-11-20T11:17:00.003-06:00

1. The whole Penn State thing. So disappointing. So sad.
2. The fact that protests in foreign countries are democratic but protests in the US are terrorism
3. British gangs are grooming girls for the sex trade. And these aren't disadvantaged kids - these are the kids that have involved parents and are at good schools and don't do drugs.
4. Congress will be voting soon on whether to censor the internet in the US. The bill, as written, has the possibility of actually causing the internet to not exist.
5. The Republican Debates. And because of these debates, I will likely be doing something I never thought I'd do - vote in a republican primary. Because I feel I should probably at least vote on which whackadoo will be running in the presidential election.
6. All the Monsanto genetically modified foods. And it's one thing if they actually were doing it for the whole "help the starving kids in Africa" thing...but they're not. They're doing it to make money. (posted because earlier this year Obama allowed Monsanto to start producing and selling their Genetically Modified Alfalfa. This essentially guarantees that at some point in the future you will no longer be able to purchase, with 100% certainty, milk or meat that is organic.)

On having kids

2011-11-14T20:31:00.002-06:00

The other day Shawn and I were having another one of "why we won't have kids" conversations when Shawn stated the following:

"I have worked very hard to make sure that you don't get pregnant."

Yes. That's right. Apparently me going to the doctor every year to get my pill script refilled (which, by the way, is the only form of birth control we use) voluntarily and without prompting from him PLUS remembering to take said pill every night (again, without prompting - or hell, him even noticing) can be directly and irrevocably attributed to him.

Well, you know what they say - behind every woman's success is a man looking to take credit. Wait, they don't say that? hunh. Coulda fooled me.

Mentoring

2011-11-11T14:01:00.004-06:00

A conversation with my mentee last Friday:

Mentee: Today we had a speaker.

Me: Really? What did he or she speak about?

Veterinarians.

Veterinarians or Veterans?

Oh...right...Veterans.

To our veterans and those currently serving: Thank you.

Happy Halloween

2011-11-05T22:24:00.001-05:00

Wait, what, that was last week? Well damn. Happy fall?

From the Archives

2011-10-28T22:05:00.002-05:00

In other news, my niece, Stereo, was born today. YAY!

65

2011-10-16T18:26:00.004-05:00

So we didn't do the 90. We did the 65 instead. We rode up to the check point like right at 11, so our options were 1) skip the rest stop and do the 90 or 2) take the rest stop and do the 65. We opted for the latter. Besides, at 30 miles we were already feeling like 90 would be very tough to do.

I did meet a lady (though we never exchanged names, so perhaps it's not even 'meeting') who has become my hero - she was doing the 65 mile ride one legged - mostly because she only had one leg. BUT there was a huge hill that we had to go up - 1) she passed us, 2) we have gears on the tandem that people don't have on road bikes (we've got a super granny gear like mountain bikes whereas with road bikes you actually have to have some leg muscle) and 3) she Only. Has. One. Leg.

Would I do it again - most likely. Would I try to do 90 next time - probably. Would we end up doing 65 instead - likely (especially if we ride the tandem again - which, by the way, Shawn said was much more fun than riding his Formula 1 in the MS 150).

Quite honestly the ride was quite moving - I mean it was 7 am, it was cold and almost everyone was wearing these tags that said "In Honor Of" for people they knew who were currently battling cancer/currently in remission or "In Memory Of" for those that lost the battle with cancer. There were many, MANY people who had multiple names or multiple tags. I mean really - 2300 people got up at 6 in the morning on a Sunday (and there were plenty of people who traveled from out of state or out of the country) to go ride a bike to fight cancer.

Bi-sickle! Bi-sickle!

2011-10-15T08:18:00.002-05:00

Tonight, we have a wedding (for Shawn's boss).

Tomorrow we have the Livestrong Bike Challenge. 90 miles of riding fun! The most we've ever done has been 45 I think...but we never take enough food and so we energetically crash somewhere around mile 35 and never really recover. That shouldn't be the case on the actual ride since they have rest stops every 10 miles or so. But just to be safe, we can choose to do the 65 mile ride after we get started if we want.

PLUS! Matt and Ross will be coming over to the house in order to take care of Ivy-cat. Who, at this point, has suffered an acute kidney attack (kidney stone), liver failure (from not eating enough and going into starvation mode), and now, anemia (because the kidneys tell the bone marrow when to make red blood cells, and since they've been pulling blood with some frequency, it makes for a cat with a low red blood cell count). So yay...

Groupon

2011-10-09T11:00:00.003-05:00

As with most people, I have participated in the Groupon craze. The problem with this, as one of my coworkers has also found out, is that we tend to wait until the last possible second to use our groupons. And I only buy groupons which I figure we'd be prone to trying on our own anyhow (so for food instead of services).

Examples:
-I bought one to Russel's Bistro. We used it on the last day available. The place was packed because of it.
-I bought one to Hyde Park Bar and Grille. We used it the last week possible.
-I bought one to Trattoria Lisina (one of our favorite restaurants) to use on our Anniversary. But since we were both out of town on our anniversary, we never used it. Until the last day possible. And even then, Shawn had to change the reservation last minute because Ivy was at the vet and it was taking forever to get out of the office.

So it should come as no surprise that I am currently feverishly working on photos so I can use the Inkubook groupon I purchased. I figured it would be no big deal to use it because I could work a little every weekend to get a photobook that I would use the groupon for. Needless to say, this didn't happen. But not because I didn't try. The problem, you see, is that Inkubook uses Silverlight. Silverlight is a Microsoft product, so it doesn't work on Linux. But not to fear; the Linux programmer types have created Moonlight (which makes it so Silverlight works on Linux). But the problem is that since the Silverlight programming is still changing, the Linux programmers have decided to stop working on Moonlight until Silverlight is somewhat finalized. This means, of course, that I can't work on the photobooks on the laptop. So instead I must start my desktop in Windows. Which wouldn't be a problem if I could access my photos from my Linux partition while in Windows. But this was not the case until yesterday. So, once again, I'm waiting until the last possible minute (the groupon expires on the 9th) to use a groupon.

Work

2011-10-01T18:54:00.002-05:00

Things I have heard in the office within the last week:
"The table of despair"
"In the Cavern [one of our conference rooms] of sadness"
"The elevators of hell"
"The building of misery"

Yep, end of the fiscal year is always fun.

Heard at Work

2011-09-20T20:36:00.000-05:00

"Fuck you, you fucking hologram!" (to the security guard)

Association of Caffeinated Wheelmen: Training

2011-09-18T15:26:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, Shawn I did 40.5 miles in just shy of 3 hours. That means we did about 14mph.

So, that was good.

What's not good, is the fact that we'll be riding over twice that amount in the actual ride.

The other fun part is that we could conceivably ride to my in laws' house. I want to do it just to see the look on their faces when we show up on the bike.

On my way into work

2011-09-15T19:30:00.000-05:00

"Cheer up; you're going to work!"

Association of Caffeinated Wheelmen. Take 2.

2011-09-05T22:00:00.004-05:00

For those of you I don't talk to all the time, you'll be surprised/gladdened/appalled that Shawn and I are doing the Livestrong Bike Challenge on October 16. Shawn's work has a sponsoring deal worked out so we don't have to do fundraising, we just have to show up and ride.

Ride 90 miles.

At one time.

Through the hilliest part of the state.

And Shawn has decided that we will do this on his parents' tandem.

Last weekend we did an almost-18-mile out and back. Today we did a 25-mile out and back.

At this rate, I'll be able to do 67 miles on the day of the ride.

Better up the ante.

Small World

2011-09-03T10:11:00.000-05:00

It's a small world.

While I was off taking pictures in Emmitsburg, Maryland, Shawn was off doing Linux nerd stuff in Vancouver, Canada. He was out there with the person whom I consider his 'best friend at work', Robert. While they were out there, the discussion of where they grew up came about. Robert said, "oh a small town called Parker in Colorado." Shawn said, "me too!" (as there was only one high school in town until 1997, they also went to the same school) Shawn said something about how he was in the marching band and Robert stated, "me too!" But, alas, Robert had graduated a year or two before Shawn was in high school so there was never any overlap.

After they came back state-side, Shawn remembered that his sister graduated a year or two before he went to high school. And that's when it dawned on him. He knew Robert. Or at least, knew OF Robert.

You see, Robert was the only boy in the clarinet section when his sister was in marching band. And Shawn only remembered this because of the fact that his sister also played clarinet.

So, there you go, small world.

Shutterbug: Heroes

2011-08-21T13:55:00.000-05:00

The Eternal Flame at the National Fallen Firefighter's Memorial along with two flags placed by someone attending the National Fire Academy the week I was there.

9/11 Memorial on the Emergency Management Institute's campus

~~-Catch of the Day~~
-Unlikely Duos
~~-Murals~~
-Those were the days
~~-Milestones~~
-State Parks
-Birds
-At the Fair
-EEK!
-Fall Leaves
-Curious Cats
-~~Man's Best Friend~~
-~~Heroes~~
-~~Cemeteries~~
-At the Cook-off
-Fun with Photoshop
-Baby, It's Cold Outside
-Going Nuts

Shutterbug: Cemeteries

2011-08-20T13:42:00.004-05:00

Mortuary Chapel in St. Joseph's Cemetery at the Shrine of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Emmitsburg, Maryland.

~~-Catch of the Day~~
-Unlikely Duos
~~-Murals~~
-Those were the days
~~-Milestones~~
-State Parks
-Birds
-At the Fair
-EEK!
-Fall Leaves
-Curious Cats
-~~Man's Best Friend~~
-Heroes
-~~Cemeteries~~
-At the Cook-off
-Fun with Photoshop
-Baby, It's Cold Outside
-Going Nuts

Shutterbug: Man's Best Friend

2011-08-01T21:24:00.005-05:00

Fly Bike, Fly!

~~-Catch of the Day~~
-Unlikely Duos
~~-Murals~~
-Those were the days
~~-Milestones~~
-State Parks
-Birds
-At the Fair
-EEK!
-Fall Leaves
-Curious Cats
-~~Man's Best Friend~~

-Heroes
-Cemeteries
-At the Cook-off
-Fun with Photoshop
-Baby, It's Cold Outside
-Going Nuts

A bit behind the times

2011-07-31T22:38:00.004-05:00

So...Boehner says that we need to reduce the national debt by spending a lot less and not making any more money. Isn't that a bit like deciding to fix your family budget by cutting out food and not asking for a pay raise at work?

Furthermore, if the Republican plan is to fix the debt problem just long enough to get a new president, aren't they just setting up THEIR president. I mean, isn't the goal to make sure that we have a Republican as president in 2012? In which case, why would you want to make sure that they're going to have to be the bad guy when they have to raise taxes? Wouldn't it make more sense to let the current president raise taxes so that it can be used against him during the gubernatorial election?

I'm just saying that congress is making less and less sense. But then politics is made up of two words - poly meaning 'many' and ticks meaning 'blood sucking parasites'...Or, even better, if con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?

Cleaning

2011-07-26T20:51:00.002-05:00

I'm having a contingent of garden bloggers over to the house on Saturday. Most people spend their time leading up to the party prepping the yard (these people, after all, are gardeners). Not me. Other than watering, I'm not doing anything new to the yard, or doing anything special. Shawn will probably have an 11th hour clean up the yard frenzy (raking and mowing is my guess). But not me. Nope. Instead, I am prepping the house. Because you just know those wily garden bloggers will find a way to sneak into my extra bedroom closet and tsk about how it's not organized. Yep. That's totally going to happen.

Expedition: Watch TV

2011-07-11T19:07:00.006-05:00

You can tell it's the summer hiatus for most of the TV shows we watch. This is mostly because we've started watching totally random shit on Hulu.com.

So far we've watched My Own Worst Enemy, Wilfred, Misfits, Love Bites and Expedition: Impossible. This, of course, is in addition to our normal summer viewing of So You Think You Can Dance, Master Chef, Burn Notice (via Hulu), Royal Pains (via Hulu) and White Collar (via Hulu). And I can't wait for Eureka and Warehouse 13 to start again (both via Hulu).

So, the summaries:
My Own Worst Enemy: A man signs up to give himself a split personality where one personality is a 'normal' guy while the other is a government trained operative (along the lines of Ethan in Mission: Impossible). But what happens when switching between the two personalities becomes uncontrollable? A decent concept, but I can also see why it was cancelled - Henry (the normal) was getting a bit whiny and Edward (the operative) was a cad. I mean I liked the show, but I ended up more interested in one of the other operatives, Tom/Raymond. (1st and only season available via Hulu)

Wilfred: A man sees his next door neighbor's dog as a man in a dog suit. It's not like Son of Sam (though the dog does egg on said man to do things - like take a dump in the jackass's boot), but it's more like the fact that we all have conversations with our animals and tend to anthropormorphise them. In this case, the dog just talks back. Oddly, if they went with a real dog and did CGI to get it to talk, it probably wouldn't work. The show is HIGH LARIOUS. The first episode is a little weak, but the second and third are capital. (via Hulu)

Misfits: A British dramedy that is similar to Heroes, but with a lot more cussing, comedy and sex. 5 delinquents are doing community service when they're caught in a freak electrical storm that gives them special powers. As they all find out what powers they have, they find that they weren't the only ones given special powers during the storm. Hijinks ensue. I like this show and find it quite entertaining - even if I can't understand what some of the characters are saying (attributed to their accents and British slang). So far there are only 4 episodes available, but I think the show is currently still on air so that means there are at least 2 more seasons of it. So it's lasted at least as long as Heroes. Available via Hulu.

Love Bites: When I first saw this title, I thought it was like Bites as in "this sucks", but no, it's Bites as in little bits. Each episode usually has 3 stories that are sometimes inter-related, sometimes not, sometimes using the same characters, sometimes not. Admittedly, the reason why I even watched the first episode was because of the title, but I actually like the show. I don't think Shawn really likes it very much (it's my new Glee, if you will). My favorite episode was the one with Kurtwood Smith as a father coming to terms with the fact that his son is gay (Episode 2: How To...). Of course, since the stories aren't necessarily told in any chronological order, nor do stories continue over multiple episodes, I could see how it would drive some people nuts...but at the same time, it also means that you don't have to watch all the episodes to know what is going on - oh sure there are recurring characters, but generally you don't have to know the whole back story on them for the little vignettes to make sense. Only downside is that it is unlikely to continue into a second season based on how much trouble it was to get the first 9 episodes aired. Currently airing on NBC Thursdays 10/9c. Also can be found on Hulu and NBC.com

Expedition Impossible: A Mark Burnet production that is like the Amazing Race on steroids. Where the Amazing Race would have the teams drive 7 miles through the Sahara, Expedition makes them walk it. Where the Amazing Race has teams wait 5 minutes before making a second guess at the clue, Expedition doesn't tell them they're wrong and lets them hike 30 minutes in the wrong direction before telling them they chose the wrong option. We only started watching this because the "Gypsies" team trained for the show by doing CrossFit. It's stronger than TAR in some aspects - makes the teams work harder to complete the leg, but it's also weak - the clue challenges are set up in a way that allows teams to piggy back on the earlier teams. Something to think about if you did the Tough Mudder... Currently Airing on ABC Thursdays at 9/8c. Also available on Hulu and ABC.com

Punched in the boob

2011-06-29T19:44:00.003-05:00

A little over a month ago, Shawn found a lump in my boob. That's right, Shawn found it. Even though I do a self exam every month (or roughly every month). The crazy thing was that said lump (ah...Lumpy) was about the size of a dime and felt very much like that gel stuff that they put in wrist supports for computer geeks. So in other words, it had probably been there for a while and I kept missing it. Some of the reason why I kept missing it was because it easily moved about (within a certain distance--it's not like I could push it from one side of my boob to the other...though that would be kinda cool). In any case, Shawn started freaking out since his mom had breast cancer about 10 years ago whereas I felt it and said, "eh, I don't think it's cancerous. My parents' vet at one point said that cancer doesn't move easily and this moves easily." Shawn said, "I think there's a big difference between you and an old dog."

(chances* of me having cancer, 50/50)

We came back home (oh yes, we were at a friend's wedding when this was all going down), I didn't immediately make a doctor's appointment since I had to go to the doctor anyway in a week and a half.

I went to the doctor. She said "I think it's an adenoma. But just to be sure I want you to go have an ultrasound."

(chances of cancer, 25%)

I set up an appointment for the ultrasound and then spent about 4 hours trying to figure out what I should tell my boss since I'm sure he doesn't want to know I'm going to go be felt up by a stick (the ultrasound wand), but at the same time I can't just say "My doctor says I need to have an ultrasound, so Imma do that on my lunch break" because then the rumors would fly fast and furious that I was pregnant (NOTE: I AM NOT PREGNANT). I finally opted for "my doctor felt something she didn't like, now I have to go see a specialist", and went on my lunch break the following work day.

The ultrasound doctor said "I agree with your doctor, I think it's an adenoma, but we recommend having a biopsy done just to be sure. And we can't do the biopsy today - you'll need to talk to your doctor and she'll refer you to a surgeon who will do it; but she may send you back here to have it done. One just never knows."

(chances of cancer, 12%. Level of annoyance at not being able to have a biopsy done right away, 50%)

Two days later my doctor called (thank god I didn't have to go into her office), and said that I should go see a surgeon and have a biopsy. She gave me a number.

I called and set up an appointment for that for the following Monday. Based on how horrible the DJ on the radio made it sound, I made Shawn take the afternoon off so he could drive me hither and yon in case I was in too much pain.

The surgeon said "I think it's an adenoma. Your choices are to either come back in 6 months and have us look at it again; or you can have the biopsy done now, though we'd still want to see you again in 6 months to see if anything has changed." I opted for the biopsy. 20 minutes later I was on my way home.

(chances of cancer, 5%)

Contrary to the radio DJ, I didn't have to ice my boob, nor did I even take any pain killers. In fact the only thing that seemed to hurt the incision was driving, and even then, it was only if I was turning the wheel while shifting, so as long as I didn't drive like a maniac, everything was good.

3 days later the doctor called and said everything looked fine, no cancer for me.

(chances of cancer, 0)

Oddly, I didn't get a bruise until the day the doctor called with the biopsy results. And even though my incision has healed and you can't even tell I had one (unless you know where to look), my boob is still all black and blue and tinged yellow (so we're going on what, 2 weeks now of it being bruised, sigh...at least I wouldn't make a good abused child - I bruise too easily).

Of course when something like this happens, you start thinking back to see if there was anything that could have tipped you off. And I remembered about 9 months ago, a spot on my boob just started itching, and itching and itching, but it wasn't a surface itch, it felt like it was under my skin. About 3 months after that I thought I had felt something (and it would have been in the right spot), but since we had just gone to the Boston Museum of Science which had a breast cancer section where you could feel what cancer felt like and what cancer didn't feel like, Shawn even said he thought it didn't feel like cancer, but I should keep track of it. After that, I obviously didn't find that same spot again, and so I didn't think anything of it. But now... Ah hindsight: always 20/20.

Also: Feel your boobies.

* = These are not real chances, these are just an indication of how my level of confidence increased as time went on.

Snuggles

2011-06-23T19:55:00.002-05:00

I went for a jog the other day. And by 'other day' I mean 'over a week ago'. About half way through my jog, I passed three women walking in the opposite direction walking a small Lhasa Apso-esque dog on a retractable leash. As I neared them, the dog comes running toward me tail wagging and tongue lolling out. The dog was about 3 feet from me when the one holding the leash suddenly yells, "Snuggles! NO!" and pulls so hard on the leash the poor animal falls ass over tea kettle and probably made two full rotations. As I jog past, the lady says "I'm so sorry, she's not friendly." and after I pass, I hear her say to the dog, "Snuggles, bad dog! You went all running up to that nice lady pretending like you wanted pets...why would you do that?" And I'm left thinking "you have a dog that isn't friendly at all named Snuggles? That's just lunacy."

Gimpy

2011-06-22T22:47:00.001-05:00

Shawn's gimpy (achilles tendonitis and plantar fascitis from running, and he just hurt his ankle today biking).

I'm gimpy (somehow hurt the top of my foot running the other day)

Yep...30 is going to be wonderful for us...

Washington State Vacation Pictures (all of 'em)

2011-06-11T21:55:00.000-05:00

Washington State Vacation

Yakima - Camping, Round 2

2011-06-09T18:24:00.001-05:00

EWG

2011-06-04T17:38:00.002-05:00

Today we went to Walmart to get an air filter for our furnace...you know, since it hasn't been changed in a year and a half. while there, we spent a good part of an hour just staring at the sunblock display. The reason why we stood there for 45 minutes was because Shawn insisted that he had read an article about how you should only get sunblock that has active ingredients of "Zinc Oxide" and "Titanium Dioxide."

So yes, we spent 45 minutes looking at the ingredient list for all the sunblocks available. And the only ones that ONLY had Titanium Dioxide and/or Zinc Oxide (other than the stuff the lifeguards put on their noses), are a few of the "free and clear" for babies/sensitive skin varieties.

After getting home and figuring out that he was reading something by EWG.org and not the World Health Organization, we spent the next hour searching for sunblocks that we've heard of (thankfully, they have a searchable database here). We had found the Aveeno Natural Protection Mineral Block (as well as a similarly named Baby formula which, as far as we could tell, is the exact same thing) at both Walmart and Target for $10 per 3 oz bottle (it gets a rating of 3); and had figured that the Neutrogena Pure & Free Baby (also $10 per 3 oz bottle) would have received a similar score. So you can imagine how surprised we were when the Neutrogena got a score of 7 (note: this is like golf, you want lower scores). Apparently the reason for the disparity is that the Neutrogena contains Vitamin A, a vitamin that, while it does reduce the signs of ageing, breaks down in the sun and actually may lead to a higher risk of skin cancer.

Since it is possible to look at all the sunscreens listed on the site by score, that's what I did and just scrolled down until I found a brand I had actually heard of (since I don't make a habit of shopping at the Whole Foods). The best well known brand I could find was the Coppertone Pure & Simple and Sensitive Skin varieties (with a score of 3)

Of course, if you wear makeup you've probably already heard of EWG'sSkin Deep Cosmetics Database.

Naturally I spent the next hour looking up the soaps, shampoos, conditioners and lotions we use. Shawn is trying to get more into the Organic Thing (but not with food...which I think is odd), and so he's purchased some lotions, lip balms, and soaps that are supposed to be better than the traditional stuff. So it's kinda surprising to find out that his lotion (Nature's Gate Fragrance Free) got a 4 while mine (Curel Continuous Comfort Fragrance Free) got a 3. His Nutribiotic Skin Cleanser gets a 6, my Noxzema Triple Clean Cleanser gets a 5.

Happy hunting, kids!

Yakima - Hiking

2011-06-02T21:38:00.000-05:00

Yakima - Camping

2011-05-31T21:31:00.000-05:00

Washington State Vacation

2011-05-29T09:03:00.001-05:00

Front fender bike decal, outside of Pike's Market in Seattle, Washington

Q-dids

2011-05-13T22:09:00.000-05:00

War

2011-05-11T19:30:00.000-05:00

I have a new coworker. His name is Henry. Henry is a skinny as all get out Mormon. Yesterday, I kid you not, one of our other coworkers asked, "So, Henry, you did your mercenary work in Taiwan, right? That's how you learned Mandarin?"

And I couldn't stop laughing at the thought of one of the nicest people I know in the world being Rambo. It'd be like if Ghandi joined the mafia.

Miracles

2011-04-28T19:34:00.003-05:00

Shawn: Whatcha reading?

Me: An article about how to take better
photographs. This guy says that everyone
should read their user manual.

I agree. And you never read the
one that came with your camera.

It's a Canon Rebel XTI, I figure it's close
enough to the film Rebel that I didn't need
to re-read the manual.

I'm just saying that I read the
manual for your camera and you didn't.

A few days later when I pulled the manual out to read it:

Shawn! Quick! we need to call the Pope!

What? Why?

Because you've performed a miracle and
we should let him know so you might be
canonized one day.

hunh?

You managed to read the user's manual
for my camera without opening the packaging
that the manual came in. That's a miracle!

Wordless Wednesday: Bevo

2011-04-27T04:40:00.000-05:00

Squat Stand

2011-04-23T16:03:00.004-05:00

A few months ago, Shawn decided that he wanted to REALLY get into Cross Fit. That meant we needed to buy rubber bumper weights. So after a trip down to Houston to pick up said weights, we had an Olympic barbell (45 pounds) with 230 pounds of bumper weights plus an additional 30 pounds of weights we had purchased at Academy.

The problem with this whole set-up? we didn't have any where to store the stuff, AND possibly more problematic was that in order to do squats, we'd have to load up the bar, do a hang clean, do a push press, lower it to the shoulders, do the squat, stand back up, do a push press, back to the clean position before putting the weight back on the ground. So basically it was a ton of extra work to do one measly squat, and you could only squat as much as you could clean because there was no way to put the bar on something, load it with weight, and then do a squat.

So we needed a squat stand or rack or power cage or something. Shawn found some that he liked online. They could be flattened for storage, and they had added features like pull up bars, dip bars, and what have you. After balking at the cost of these stands (starting at about $700), Shawn started lamenting that if only he knew a welder who could weld the stand for him. When I told him he did, he scoffed and was like "yeah, sure, in COLORADO." So I reminded him that Garden Blogger Bob (to differentiate him from 'your father, Bob') was a welder by trade, and he would probably be happy to weld together some stand thingy that Shawn would design.

That's how it came be that a few weekends ago we spent the day at Bob's place where Bob actually let Shawn weld (with supervision and with an eye toward making sure that the welds would actually hold) the squat stand together.

Here are the men-folk after the stand has been welded and was placed in the truck ready to be taken home. I spent the day with Bob's wife, who broke her arm a few weeks earlier.

Of course, when using raw materials, you will have to paint things. So we went to the store and got some rattle-can black spray paint.

Shawn rattle-can painting the squat stand so it won't get black dust on us every time we move the thing.

Total cost of this adventure? about $100 which was the cost for the materials as Bob didn't charge Shawn anything for teaching him how to weld.

Of course, Bob also has some cool Jax looking things which are apparently .22 pistol walking targets which look pretty cool, if I do say so myself...and, while I wouldn't use them for target practice, I probably would like them for decoration purposes. Oh the possibilities!

Shutterbug: Milestones (part 2)

2011-04-22T20:36:00.004-05:00

Ground Breaking Ceremony for the Waller Creek Tunnel. The tunnel will divert water from 12th street to Town Lake and significantly reduce the floodplain of Waller Creek in the Downtown area. More information can be found here: http://www.ci.austin.tx.us/wallercreek/

~~-Catch of the Day~~
-Unlikely Duos
~~-Murals~~
-Those were the days
~~-Milestones~~
-State Parks
-Birds
-At the Fair
-EEK!
-Fall Leaves
-Curious Cats
-Man's Best Friend

-Heroes

Queens, New York

2011-04-16T18:08:00.004-05:00

"Katina..."

"Yes, Ma-Belle"

"Do you want me to put this make up on you?" (while holding up an eye-shadow palette that has all the colors mixed and is obviously one of the ones that her mother gave her because the make up is old)

"Not particularly"

"But if I can put the blue eye shadow on you, you'll look like a queen!"

::laughing snort:: "Yes, I'd definitely look like a queen. Thanks, but no thanks."

Shutterbug: Milestones (part 1)

2011-04-09T19:36:00.002-05:00

I took my camera to the groundbreaking of the Waller Creek Tunnel on Friday. I took photos. I downloaded all of the photos to my computer. I deleted the photos off of my memory card. I came home. I went to post a picture on my blog. I remembered that I deleted all of the photos off of the memory card, but they're on my work computer. Now I have to email myself from my work computer at some point in time in order to put the one photo I want on this blog for the world to see. Damn.

Critter

2011-04-02T09:18:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago, our friend's wife delivered a healthy baby boy. Jesse (the husband/father/best man at our wedding), dutifully, sent out an email to everyone letting them know about the fact that "critter" was finally here. What follows is the conversation that Shawn and I had...

Shawn: Looks like Jesse and Kristie had the baby yesterday.

Katina: Cool, what's his name?

Riley Race

ooo, they went with the superhero name.

:::I sign into facebook to see photos:::

Dork. The baby's name is Owen.

Ah, that explains it.

Explains what?

The email was signed "Jesse, Kristie, and Owen", and I thought it was odd that Jesse was including the dog on the email signature instead of the baby.

The dog's name is Hendrix, remember?

Well, NOW...Okay, so Jesse and Kristie had the baby yesterday, his name is Owen Riley Race.

Shutterbug: Murals

2011-03-26T21:55:00.005-05:00

~~-Catch of the Day~~
-Unlikely Duos
~~-Murals~~
-Those were the days
-Milestones
-State Parks
-Birds
-At the Fair
-EEK!
-Fall Leaves
-Curious Cats
-Man's Best Friend
-Heroes

Flying

2011-03-17T19:38:00.006-05:00

So, as most of my loyal readers (all 2 of you!) knew, I was in Colorado last week for my cousin's wedding. We, of course, flew there because we only drive when we have to take kidney-failure cats with us.

I dislike flying. Not as bad as the Spiteful Chef, but I don't relish it either. The funny part is that I actually somewhat understand airfoils and fluid dynamics thereby keeping the tin can with wings aloft (damn you engineering!). This does not, however, really assuage any of my plummeting fears. Though, as a plus, I'm not scared of flying; I'm scared of falling.

But do you want to know the best part about flying? Skymall. That's right. Skymall. I love paging through the magazine and looking at all the crazy lawn/garden statues that I find absolutely ridiculous. Since I wanted to include some pictures of the statues that are my particular favorites, I actually went to their website this evening. I don't think you can understand how surprised I was that my personal favorite, the Zombie of Montclaire Moors (pictured below), is by far the most popular statue with 36 reviews, most of them rating it at 5 stars.
If you still want to scare the bejeebus out of your friends, postman, and neighborhood cats, you can opt, instead, to get this realistic 4' alligator which is on backorder until the middle of April:

Not recommended for those in Florida as it may instead train your grandchildren and dogs to ignore the actual REAL alligators in your neighborhood.

If, for whatever reason, scaring the crap out of your friends is not your goal, then you can always go the unicorn route.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of good things in the Skymall magazine, and plenty of very helpful things (plus it's beginning to aim more at the business travellers, so there's a bunch more office related stuff), but those things don't really do much to take my mind off of the fact that we're bouncing and jostling, and great scott! we MUST hit 88mph before liftoff! So yes, thank you Skymall for making my flight a little more pleasant every time we take off.

All pictures are from the Skymall website.

Council

2011-03-05T09:19:00.002-06:00

The other night the City of Austin Council approved a measure to lengthen the time frame for when people have to feed the parking meters downtown. Specifically the meters are going from 8-5 M-F to 8-midnight M-Sa.

Considering how many people would drive downtown to party on Friday and then take a cab home (doing the responsible thing), it would not surprise me in the least if we see a sudden jump in number of DUIs because people will be driving home on Friday night so that they don't get a parking ticket on Saturday morning.

Of course, if they had changed the rule to be 8-midnight M-F and 6pm-midnight on Saturday, I would be rooting them on and in agreement.

Though, I guess council said that they'd be willing to talk about a parking pass of some sort so you would be able to park downtown at a meter without having to worry about getting a parking ticket if you took a taxi home instead of driving. So that's good, at least.

State of the State

2011-02-15T20:47:00.002-06:00

So yesterday (Valentine's), the flags were at half staff.

"Don't look now, honey, but I think Texas has shifted to a Catholic State and is commemorating the martyrdom of St. Valentine by putting all flags at half staff. I think it's probably best if we just quietly go with it."

6 Years

2011-02-12T13:10:00.003-06:00

6 years ago when I moved down here, I found out that the garage had a little kitty door. I decided that this seemed like a brilliant idea to catch myself a pet cat and so I turned the little lock knobby thing to the point where an animal could come in, but couldn't get out.

Of course, after Ivy found us, I left it that way because she and Quazi would frequently go out into the garage and sit at their little kitty window and look outside trying to figure out a way to get out. (What happens if I push on it? hmm, Nothing. Okay...What happens if I push on it now? hunh. Odd. Nothing happened)

Since it's been 6 years and we've never had a problem with animals coming into the garage, I completely forgot about it. Until the other night when we had a feral cat in the garage. Well, we can't blame the cats - they tried to warn us (they both REALLY wanted out in the garage even though it was fuh-reezing outside). It also should have tipped us off as we came home and the garage smelled like cat piss, but I figured that the smell was because I had been cleaning out the litter boxes and throwing the waste in the garbage and we hadn't thrown away any other trash. So instead we sat in the house until the poor animal knocked over a rolled up rug Shawn had next to the garbage can. When we saw the cat, Shawn just opened the garage door and the cat left (though I feel like we should have put food and water out for it first because who knows how long it was stuck in the garage).

But man, can those feral cats jump. It was jumping about 6' straight up in the air trying to get away from us (and it was already in the opposite corner of the garage).

Pawprints

2011-02-11T17:09:00.000-06:00

Taken after the cats went outside on Friday, Feb 4. (The most snow in Austin, TX since 2004)

Shutterbug: Catch of the Day

2011-02-08T18:05:00.002-06:00

Upcoming photos will be as follows (and not necessarily in order):
~~-Catch of the Day~~
-Unlikely Duos
-Murals
-Those were the days
-Milestones
-State Parks
-Birds
-At the Fair
-EEK!
-Fall Leaves
-Curious Cats
-Man's Best Friend
-Heroes

More Cross Fit

2011-02-06T12:29:00.003-06:00

Since yesterday's Cross Fit workout consisted of needing nothing other than a pull up apparatus (bar or rings), Shawn decided that it was a perfect opportunity to use the rings.

The workout: Burpee Pull-up.

How: Place hands on ground, hop your legs out so you're in pushup position, drop to ground, push up and hop a little to pull your legs up under your body, stand up, jump. As you jump, grab onto the pull up bar/rings, do a pull up, drop to ground on feet. Repeat.

Reps: 100. that's right. ONE. HUNDRED.

The goal: Do this as fast as you can. Record your time.

Shawn's time: 28 minutes give or take.
My time: 24 and a half minutes.

Of course, to be fair, I was doing hops instead of jumps since I can't do a full pull up and so the rings were set up to be a little above my head instead of a foot above my out-stretched hands like Shawn did.

Still. I win.

Now Shawn's out in the garage filling a basketball with 20 pounds of sand so he can do Wall Balls (that's what I'm calling them anyway). Wall Balls are where you take a 20 pound ball, do a squat with it, stand up and then throw the ball up 10', catch the ball, repeat. The reason why you do this by a wall is because it's probably pretty dangerous to just be outside throwing a 20 pound ball up in the air and trying to catch it, so you face a wall and aim for 10' up on the wall - then the ball only has a small area where it will come down and you don't have to move around as much to try to catch the damn thing.

But today's goal: 150 wall balls. in as fast as you can.

Is there anyone out there wondering why the unofficial mascot of Cross Fit is called "Pukey"?

Rings

2011-01-31T22:30:00.002-06:00

Shutterbug

2011-01-30T21:04:00.002-06:00

I have decided that I need to start taking more photos again. But, since my normal theme is "garden" so I can post the photos on my other blog; and since it's currently winter, it sometimes means that I don't get any action shots or anything of that nature.

Since I feel that I need some indication of WHAT exactly to take a photo of, I'm going to be using the photo contest in my Texas Co-Op Power magazine (yes, our power company sends us a magazine every month) as a guide.

So, upcoming photos will be as follows:
-Catch of the Day
-Unlikely Duos
-Murals
-Those were the days
-Milestones
-State Parks
-Birds
-At the Fair
-EEK!
-Fall Leaves
-Curious Cats
-Man's Best Friend
-Heroes

If you have any suggestions, just let me know!

Eclectic

2011-01-28T19:38:00.002-06:00

So...Remember how I told you Shawn had been spending a bunch of time at a Cross Fit Training website? Yeah. Cross Fit is kinda like a cult. A cult of working out. And lifting a bunch of weight. And doing it a lot of times in a row (or in a circuit). And based on how frequently dogs are featured on their websites and/or videos, apparently they also all own pit bulls (awww...doggies!)

He hasn't actually started doing all of the workouts or anything. But he has been inspired by the Cross Fit Culture. He has bought Olympic Gymnastic Rings. Let me say that again. Olympic. Gymnastic. Rings. (where the hell are we putting these you may ask - why in the garage. We'll have to reinforce the roof framing in order to do this, but that's small peanuts because we REALLY need the rings...). He also would like a set of Olympic Bumper weights (those are the weights where the guys lift the barbell above their heads and then they drop the weight (usually on the range of 1000 pounds) to the ground...thus bumper weights). He hasn't been as into getting the pull-up bar, climbing rope or kettlebells.

If we're not careful we'll probably end up with a rowing skull and olympic sized pool in our back yard.

In other exercise news, we are also the owners of a giant red balance ball. AND I can officially jog a mile. Sure it's like an 11 minute mile. But it's a MILE!

yellow bubby

2011-01-27T20:56:00.001-06:00

Cast Ironman

2011-01-25T20:06:00.004-06:00

Shawn made dinner tonight. Entirely in the cast iron skillet.

Here I present to you breakfast potatoes with bacon and fried eggs:

Oh no

2011-01-22T11:23:00.001-06:00

Heaven help me, Shawn's been spending a bunch of time at this website: Crossfit.com

New equipment

2011-01-16T12:39:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the food-centric posts recently, it's almost like I'm going through food blog withdrawls. But that's not really the case, it's just that there's not a whole lot else going on.

Last weekend, Shawn decided that he needed this:

This is a Lodge pre-seasoned 10" skillet (picture is from the Lodge website which you can find here: Lodge Cast Iron Cookware). I originally was going to post a picture of our actual skillet, but then I realized that I would have to clean the stove top first, and if I'm going to do that, I might as well clean the counters, and once that's done, it's not that great of a leap to clean the kitchen table. And I'm too lazy to do all of that, thus the canned picture.

We've used it twice so far. The first night, Shawn made breakfast potatoes. Which all stuck to the bottom of the pan in spite of the fact that the skillet is 'pre seasoned' and all the added oil that Shawn added to try to prevent the sticking. The second time we used it (last night), Shawn made goulash which did much better. Eventually, supposedly, this will be just as good if not better than our non-stick pans. I think Shawn opted to move to the cast iron because the 'everyday' pan my aunt got me as a college graduation present is starting to lose it's hard anodized aluminum coating...which likely means no more non-stick for us.

In other gadgetry, Shawn purchased a new computer mouse for me since my current mouse is iffy at best, but it hasn't arrived yet. And let me tell you, it's WEIRD using only the keyboard to do everything. Shawn also purchased a microplane for me as well - he decided that rather than having me spend $4 for orange zest that it made more sense to spend $15 for a piece of equipment I'll use maybe 4 times in my life. But whatever.

Also, I need to find a seller for delicious wild game. Specifically venison. Delicious, delicious venison...drool.

The Tradition: Cinnamon Rolls

2011-01-06T19:28:00.016-06:00

Growing up, my mom made cinnamon rolls every Christmas morning. We'd eat cinnamon rolls with an orange on appropriately festive paper plates and then we'd go look at all the goodies that Santa left us in our stockings. (Ah yes, I remember the year that Dad got a bag of coal. That was a fun year.) Mom originally started out making cinnamon rolls by scratch using a recipe from my great-aunt (dad's side). By the time we were older (in middle school), she found Rhode's Cinnamon Rolls in the freezer section of the grocery store and after we all agreed that they were just as good as the home made ones, she never went back.

For the past 5 years, I've dutifully made cinnamon rolls for Christmas day (and yes, I've made home made ones, pillsbury ones, and rhodes ones at various times - and mostly depending on when I went to the grocery store, if I had any yeast, and how quickly I wanted to make the rolls).

This year, for December Food Month (which is what I've affectionately named the tradition at work where someone brings in some food item to share for one day during December - the goal is to have at least one person signed up for every work day during December. Thus obviously turning us all into gluttons; who, on the first work day of the new year, walk down to the break room in a zombie-like fashion hoping and praying that someone was nice and brought in left over Christmas candy), one of the co-workers brought in home made cinnamon rolls. HOME MADE CINNAMON ROLLS, PEOPLE!! She used Ree Drummond's recipe which can be obtained through her website: The Pioneer Woman. The cinnamon rolls were Delicious and I single-handedly ate half a pan (so like 5 or something). I do not feel bad about this because she brought in 6 pans, and I waited until after lunch to have the 3rd, and until the day after to eat the other two. I was just being helpful and trying to make sure that we did not end up with an ant problem. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that cinnamon rolls are quite possibly my second favorite food in the world.

When I figured out that the recipe was easily available, I decided that I would make them instead of any of my other methods. Below is a pictorial process of the making of the cinnamon rolls.

Step 1: obtain all of the ingredients below. Including the foil throw away pans--the full recipe makes 6 of the square pans, 7 or so of the rounds.

Step 4: mix half the flour with the milk, yeast and sugar.

Step 5: Let rise.

Step 6: While dough is rising, make yourself useful and butter down those cinnamon roll pans.
Step 9: Turn out dough on well floured surface and form into a rough rectangular shape.

Step 10: Roll out into large rectangle. I rolled it too thin though, so you definitely want to go a little thicker than I did...maybe about 1/4" to 1/2" thick.

Step 13: Sprinkle well with cinnamon. Very well.

Step 15: Cut in 3/4" to 1" rounds and place in buttered pans.

Step 16: Find an appropriately festive towel, cover the rolls and let rise. I only did a half batch and managed to get 4 full pans out of the deal (as I said, I rolled the rolls too thin, and then I also cut them a bit on the skinny side)

Step 18: While the rolls are baking, break out your coffee maker and make the glaze. This is the third time it has been pulled out of the cupboard. Hot diggidy! The other times it has been pulled out are for French Onion Soup Night and during March when the Inlaws came to visit. We do not drink coffee, and Shawn told me I was a dum-dum for making frosting with coffee in it--I couldn't taste the coffee at all in Andrea's rolls, but apparently using a Dark French Roast with the setting on the coffee pot set to "Strong" is not the best option for those of us who do not like coffee flavored things.
Step 20: Glaze your finished cinnamon rolls making sure to get as much into the nooks and crannies as possible. Step 21 is to enjoy them, but step 22 is to listen to your husband complain about how the rolls taste like coffee.

YAY! Jacket!

2011-01-06T19:26:00.001-06:00

To tide you over while I write the cinnamon rolls entry.

I swear

2011-01-03T19:03:00.002-06:00

I swear I'm going to get around to posting an ACTUAL post about the cinnamon rolls. With pictures even! But life's been busy. You'd have figured that I could easily have written said post during the entire week I took off of work to do nothing but sit around on my ass at home. But you'd be wrong. I had very important things to do--like watch all of my DVDs that my sister sent me. And it's not like they're easy peasy DVDs, they're all TV shows DVDs. That means like 12-24 hours of viewing pleasure from EACH GIFT. So, there you have it. You can blame Dani for the fact that I haven't blogged about anything for the last week.

TRADITION!!

2010-12-23T16:00:00.004-06:00

In my family, especially around Christmas-time, you inevitably will yell "TRADITION!" at some point. Sometimes, this exclamation comes while in your underwear, and at others, it comes while opening gifts. In my case (this year) it has come with the revelation to Shawn that I will be baking cinnamon rolls.

Traditionally, my family had lasagna on Christmas Eve, opened all the Christmas gifts from each other, went to midnight mass, came home to find our gift from Santa, went to bed, woke up, ate cinnamon rolls, "opened" stockings. The rest of Christmas is open to either playing with your new gifts, or, as my sister and I got older and had boyfriends, it meant that we could spend the rest of the day with them and their families.

So, yes, cinnamon rolls. Of course, this means I need to go get all the stuff to make them (okay, not ALL the stuff - just the milk, butter, stuff to make the glaze, and a bunch of those square throw-away pans).

Now then, if you want to follow along, you can find the recipe I'll be using over at Ree Drummond's site: Pioneer Woman

You put the lime in the Coke you nut

2010-11-22T21:48:00.013-06:00

As a gift for one of my coworkers for his wedding, I offered to make a pie of his choice. His choice was coconut cream. A pie that I would normally avoid as if it were carrying a new strain of ebola because of two reasons: 1) Coconut, 2) cream pie. The best part about Matt choosing the coconut cream pie is that he chose it BECAUSE his new bride does not like it. Not that he ever even told her that I was going to make a pie for them, but that's beside the point (I think he totally told her today that I just gave them a dirty pie plate as a wedding gift so she would never even know that there was a pie).

I went out on Saturday and bought supplies (notably that sweetened coconut flake stuff ::shudder::). Then I came home and went to pet my cat. Except that my cat didn't want to be pet, and I think I surprised him. So he kicked out with his hind leg and this happened (note: picture taken 24 hours AFTER the scratching incident so it's not a bloody mess in this photo):

This of course meant that I needed to wash and bandage up my hand good and proper to prevent the gangrene from setting in. It should be noted that the cat scratched me, I went and washed my hand for 5 minutes, then got out the cotton wrap and compression wrap, broght them to the couch, sat down, wrapped my hand myself, and it still took my loving husband WHO WAS SITTING NEXT TO ME ON THE COUCH THE WHOLE TIME another 20 minutes to notice that my hand was wrapped up. This event (the scratching not the fact that my husband is unobservant) meant I spent all of Sunday with my hand wrapped thusly (FINALLY a use for all that left over cotton gauze and compression wrap):

Don't worry, I wore a nitrile glove the entire time I was actually doing the cooking, but I just wanted to point out that I had to do things left handed because I couldn't touch my thumb to any of my fingers without feeling like I was going to re-open the wounds.

The recipe:
This one. The one from Emeril Lagasse. The one that I've never tried (see aforementioned disdain of both coconut and cream pies). So I figured "What the hell, how bad can it be?"

Step one: Make the pie shell. Okay, this isn't too bad, but I much prefer the dump and press style pie crust--there's no rolling or chilling. way easier than this version. but it turned out okay (though I think the crust could have used more sugar, but whatever, I was following the recipe). Besides, there are so many other places to go off course anyway. Pricked because I don't have pie weights...or dry beans...mostly because I don't make this type of pie crust and I don't eat beans.

Step two: Make the custard. I've never made custard (okay, that's a lie, I made creme brulee once. But it was a mix and all I had to do was heat some milk, mix and chill). This custard required actually separating eggs and what have you. And, as I've learned from The Spiteful Chef, there are certain steps that must be followed with a custard. These steps basically mean don't follow the recipe as written on Food Network. There's a part where it tells you to boil the custard. I'm pretty sure that's a bad idea. So I used the ingredients, but followed Kristie's steps (which are actually written out and explained). Here is my set up:

Milk is being heated to 185 (yeah, we only had fat free...probably not the best idea to use that in a CUSTARD, note to self for the next time I don't make coconut cream pie), icebath is ready with a strainer to catch insolent little pieces of egg that don't want to become a custard, a wooden spoon for stirring and consistency checking of said custard, and a ladle to aid in the tempering of the egg yolks. Speaking of egg yolks, here they are just before having the almost boiling milk added to the cold, uncooked eggs:

Since the recipe doesn't explain it, tempering is basically adding a tiny amount (I used half a ladlefull) of the hot milk to the eggs. whisk, whisk, whisk. Add a little more milk. whisk, whisk, whisk. wash, rinse, and repeat until half the milk has been added to the yolks and then add the yolk mixture back into the hot milk pot where you heat but NEVER BOIL the mixture until it is thick and gelatinous. Pour into the strainer over the bowl in the icebath, press through the strainer, pour into the prepared pie crust. Now then, I'm not sure if I actually had to strain it, but I did since it seemed like a good idea. Cover in plastic wrap (like a Christmas present!) and place in the fridge to chill throughly. It will look like this (note: you will need approximately a 6-pack of Coke and chocolate chips to complete this look):

You can't really tell in the picture, but I wasn't sure if this would form that disgusting skin on it so I pressed the plastic wrap down until it touched the gooey innards of the pie (minimizing the amount of air that can get to the pie) and let it chillax for about 2.5 hours. Then I moved on to the meringue.

I think I tried to make meringue one time back in the day and it was disastrous. I found some tips online--like have the egg whites be at room temperature (yeah, I didn't do that, I took them straight from the fridge), and using 2 tablespoons of sugar per white (I didn't do that, I did double the amount of sugar from the recipe, though). It did have a tip that I did follow--I whipped those whites like a jockey on a horse in the Kentucky Derby BEFORE adding the sugar. Spread on top of the pie and place in the preheated oven...of course after doing that I decided I should actually Google whether or not Pyrex can indeed go from a 37 degree refrigerator into a 350 degree oven (apparently it can as long as the oven is preheated. That...doesn't make much sense to me--"yes, this dish can go from cold to hot as long as you don't try to ramp up the hot. quick and fast, that's the way to do it"). Then I decided I should take a picture of the pie in case the dish didn't make it through the oven cycle so I could at least say "look! I made you a pie! too bad my oven ate it. It liked it though, so be glad for that." Picture of pie in oven:

After about 10 minutes, it looks like it might be done, and because the recipe told me so, I take it out of the oven and TA-DA:

Look! It's ANGEL PIE! With the haloing effect...get it? no? yes...well...crap.

Of course it didn't look so pretty after I re-wrapped it in plastic wrap and took it to work this morning--it didn't like the 45 minute car ride in a warm car very much. Matt was still nice and said that it looked good. Plus I guess he ate all of it tonight for dinner. But then, I don't know if that really means anything because I think he'll eat just about everything.

Boston

2010-11-20T17:57:00.000-06:00

Here are my Boston Photos...

Boston

700

2010-11-20T12:44:00.002-06:00

As I'm sure you've noticed, I failed miserably in my goal of posting something every day of November. Le Sigh.

Fini

2010-11-14T20:01:00.003-06:00

I'm FINALLY finished with the latest (and possibly last?) of my "projects for my friends' babies." And I'm only a year behind. for this project, I once again made cubes with 4 sides being embroidered hot-iron transfers and the 2 remaining sides being a bandanna skull and crossbones number. I, however, did not take a picture...this is mostly because I was finishing up the sewing on it as we were driving to the kid's 1-year birthday party. Because that's just how I roll.

Big Bang

2010-11-12T20:42:00.002-06:00

Have you ever paused the television while watching the end of the Big Bang Theory in order to read the Chuck Lorre vanity end cards? I did. Once. But good news, now there's no need to pause the tv and get all close to it to read it, now you can just go to this handy website which catalogues all the vanity cards for you.

http://www.chucklorre.com/

Fall

2010-11-11T15:23:00.001-06:00

from my mom when she was down here in October:
"So the leaves haven't started turning yet. What color will they turn when fall finally hits down here?"

from my coworker:
"Do you consider brown a color?"

Backpacking

2010-11-07T21:56:00.000-06:00

on my birthday, Shawn and I went backpacking with our friend Lon, and his 4-year old daughter, Ma-belle. This is the only photo I took. I figured that it's his kid, he's the one that's in charge of taking the photos of her, right? I let her wear my hat the entire hike in because that's like an ounce that I don't have to carry myself.

Patriot Place

2010-11-07T21:20:00.002-06:00

Mark Twain

2010-11-06T22:42:00.000-05:00

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

Columbus

2010-11-05T21:52:00.000-05:00

And I shall call him 'Lord Farquad'

Cat Food

2010-11-04T21:45:00.000-05:00

I don't know how I managed to start feeding our cat a food that can only be found in 6 pound bags. And I can hear you asking me, "well, isn't that because your cat is on special kidney food?" and the answer is, "yes, but it's not that cat."

That's right, Quazi was put on a special food around this time last year. That food was Oral Sensitive by Royal Canin. The reason why he was put on this food is because he has the bad habit of scarfing food and then regurgitating it on the floor about 20 minutes later. The Oral Sensitive variety helps prevent this because he actually has to chew the food before swallowing it which means he eats slower and therefore won't act like an angsty high school girl. The food is good, Ivy likes it too, the only problem I have with it is that the big name box stores around here only sell it in the 3 pound bags, so I have to go to the ONLY store I've found thus far who sells it in the 6 pound bags.

Since I have to call in Ivy's food to the vet (prescription diet), I think I might ask if it's possible for them to order me Quazi's food too. Kill two birds with one stone.

Christmas

2010-11-03T21:40:00.002-05:00

It's like I'm on a Holiday roll around here....

But, Machu Picchu, December 2011. What do you think?

November

2010-11-02T22:29:00.002-05:00

You know what today is, don't you? It is November 2. 2 days into National Blog Post Month (NaBloPoMo). In other words, it is the month in which I regale you with crappy-ass stories in order to prove to myself that I can, indeed, post something on one of my blogs at least once a day for 30 consecutive days.

And you want to know something else? I've already screwed it up. I forgot yesterday was November 1. But, in the grand scheme of things, this is peanuts compared to the other atrocity that happened yesterday. The atrocity of which I speak is naturally the travesty in which I forgot to have the first two words out of my mouth on the 1st of the month be "White Rabbit."

Obviously this is Shawn's fault because he bothered to ask me a question right after getting out of bed. The question, of course, was whether Daylight Saving time ended on the 31st or not. I think he was looking forward to sleeping in for another hour. In any case, I'll take my semi lucid answer of "no, it ends next weekend, at 1am" over the phrase I kept uttering last night every time there was a clap of thunder that woke me up in the middle of the night...Though I would guess it'd be easier to remember to say "Holy Crap!!!" (and yes, apparently when I'm tired I cuss like a Mormon instead of a Sailor) the first of every month, rather than that silly "White Rabbit" phrase.

Nostalgia Sunday: Halloween Edition

2010-10-31T20:10:00.002-05:00

As it is Halloween, and it is a Sunday, I figure a Halloween Edition of Nostalgia Sunday is in order. However, since there are so many preshus memrys, I am doing a bulleted thing instead of coherent paragraphs (oh who am I kidding, this is hardly ever 'coherent')

-My mom had the habit of making our costumes, this meant that a) we had to help out, and b) we had to fit them over our winter coats (okay not really, but it did help a bunch if we left extra room to wear sweatshirts and sweat pants underneath). One year we got some 'cut and sew' costumes that had glow in the dark piping. I was a witch, and Dani was Be-bop the robot. We'd go to the houses and Dani would say "Doop, beep, bop, eep! That means Trick-or-Treat in robot!"

-I don't ever remember truly going as a princess, but I think I went as an Indian (feathers, not dots) Princess when I was in third grade. And in 6th I was a Harem girl, which most people took to mean Jasmine from Aladin since that movie had come out fairly recently.

-Mom always made apple dumplings in the fall, and since it doesn't get cold down here until Christmas, it doesn't feel like fall, so I force myself to make apple dumplings on Halloween for preparation.

-My dad always decorated the front yard by raking all the leaves into a big pile under the tree, he'd then take an old pair of pants (usually Dani's), stuff them full of leaves and position them under the leaf stack like there is a dead little kid under the leaves (yes, they always told us the kid was supposed to be "sleeping"), the look would be completed by using Dani's old tennis shoes so you couldn't tell the pants were actually stuffed. Supposedly, one year the cops came to the house because someone had called it in saying that we had a dead kid in our yard. Of course, this all happened after Dani and I went to bed, so I question the validity of this claim.

-And finally, for YEARS I wasn't allowed to eat candy on Halloween night, all because of one measly sweet tart and an unfortunate event that happened later that night.

On Fairy Tales

2010-10-27T19:10:00.004-05:00

As we were backpacking this last weekend with a four-year-old (Ma-belle), we (her dad and I) started talking about fairy tales...don't worry, we were quite careful to make sure she wasn't listening as it probably would have crushed her heart to find out that living "happily ever after" sometimes just doesn't happen in the fairy tales. Generally speaking the fairy tales that originated in Germany are meant to scare the ever-living crap out of children so they'll do what their parents tell them to while the French fairy tales are totally raunchy and meant to entertain adults.

Here are some quick synopses of the original fairy tales:
Snow White (German): Disney was fairly accurate to the source material here; the evil stepmother queen has little (7-year-old) Snow White taken to the woods to be killed, but the hunter lets her go. Snow White lives with the dwarfs, and the queen tries to kill her 3 times; by poison laces, poison comb and finally poison apple (however, in the first two cases the dwarfs save her and in the last the apple essentially gets stuck in her windpipe). The dwarfs put Snow White in a glass coffin in the woods and the dashing young prince comes, falls in love and begs the dwarfs to let him take poor, comatose Snow White with him. During the move, the apple piece becomes dislodged and Snow White wakes up, falls in love with the prince and they marry. The evil queen goes to their wedding (not realizing that it's Snow White), and, at the wedding, is forced to wear iron shoes that have been placed in the fire until they were red hot. She either dances until she dies, or has a heart attack. In either case, I'm sure wearing the fire hot iron shoes didn't help any.

Sleeping Beauty (French): Again, Disney follows the source material at the beginning, but when Sleeping Beauty (who doesn't have a name, though her eventual daughter is named Aurora) is in her sleep stupor in the woods, the prince comes and rapes her, thus impregnating her. When the babies (yes, twins) are born they suckle on Sleeping Beauty's finger, thus dislodging the piece of poisoned wood that was embedded in her finger (apparently human babies now act like most other mammals where the babies must find their way to their mother's teat). Said prince keeps all this under wraps (as was the fashion of the times), but his mother finds out and plans to have the babes and Sleeping Beauty killed, prepared in a sauce Robert, and ultimately served to her son (to teach him a lesson I suppose?). In some way, shape, or form, it comes to pass that the cook tricks the mother by giving her prepared meats instead of the prepared humans. When the King finds what she's done (that she tried to kill the mother of his children and his children), he has his own mother thrown into a pit of vipers (Why'd it have to be snakes?).

The Little Mermaid (Dutch): The little mermaid goes to the water's surface on her 15th birthday and saves a prince from drowning. Since she wants to be human to be with the prince, she goes to the sea witch who agrees to give her legs in exchange for the mermaid's voice. The mermaid agrees even though the witch has warned her that it will feel like she is walking on swords, her feet will bleed, and if the prince doesn't love her, she will die. The prince falls for the little mermaid, but ends up marrying another girl at the behest of his father (it helps some that he thinks the girl he is marrying was the one who saved him from drowning instead of the little mermaid). On the morning after the wedding, the mermaids sisters come to the surface with a knife. If the little mermaid kills the prince, she will regain her fins and live on as a mermaid. In the end, she can't kill the thing she loves and so she dies and becomes sea foam.

Beauty and the Beast (French): Belle is actually a princess, who, to protect her life, is sent to live as a merchant's daughter. The merchant loses all his riches, and when he gets news that one of his ships has returned to port, he asks his daughters what they want for gifts. The two older sisters (who, by all accounts, sound about as nice as Cinderella's sisters), ask for finery while Belle asks for a rose. When the merchant finds that his ship has been taken to pay his debts, he can no longer afford to buy the gifts he promised. On his way home, he spends the night in a seemingly abandoned castle. He tries to take a rose from the garden and that's when the Beast makes him a prisoner who can only leave if he agrees to send his youngest daughter. Belle arrives at the castle and is well taken care of, but refuses to marry the beast (even though she dreams of a handsome prince telling her to marry the beast). At one point, she convinces the beast to let her go home to visit her family. He agrees but states that she must come back within one week. Belle's sisters trick her into staying longer, and when Belle arrives at the Beast's castle, he is almost dead from heartbreak. She agrees to marry him and he is magically turned into the handsome prince. They live happily ever after. It should be noted that the prince was turned into a beast because he refused to be seduced by an evil fairy (newer versions indicate that he was turned into a beast for not being nice to a homeless woman).

Cinderella (originally Greek):
Greek version: An eagle makes off with a maiden's sandal and drops it in the king's lap thus starting the quest to find the girl who owns that sandal.
French version: The Disney version (sans talking mice, and helpful birds)
German version: This is the version where the sisters cut off pieces of their own feet in order to get them to fit into the slipper. Pigeons alert the prince by pecking out the eyes of the sisters after their lies. (Sound familiar?) They spare the prince because he's just a dumb dumb.

And all this exercise really made me want to do is watch "Into the Woods." Most of these stories I pulled from Wikipedia and my memory from when I researched fairy tales for a history class project. We filmed the original Sleeping Beauty using He-man action figures and Barbies. Don't worry, we used a censored sign for the inappropriate scenes...though we did make reference to the JonBenet case, which was probably in bad taste.

Birthin' Butterflies

2010-10-20T21:03:00.003-05:00

I helped this butterfly be born. I had gone outside to take photos of flowers and noticed that the chrysalis I had on the passionvine was really dark, which indicates that the butterfly is ready to hatch. Unfortunately, the chrysalis was already in the shade for the day, so I picked up the stem the chrysalis was attached to and moved it to the sun. Not 10 minutes later and the butterfly was out and sunning off its wings.

Ugh

2010-10-02T08:20:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure we can now add a new allergy to my list: Ragweed. In addition to the Cedar Fever I already suffer from, this now means that from October til February I will be holing myself up indoors and getting high on allergy meds. And that's during the best part of the year down here. dangnabit!

Water droplets on Cat tail

2010-09-25T16:55:00.003-05:00

The cats got stuck out in the rainstorm this afternoon. They weren't too happy about that turn of events.

Car2Go: FTW

2010-09-19T22:07:00.000-05:00

Skillz

2010-09-16T20:08:00.004-05:00

Two nights ago, I decided to make jambalaya. the zattarain's variety. (by the way, that scream you just heard is Kristie all the way in colorado.)

Anyhow, in this jambalaya mix, I decided to use our deer sausage (the link variety) that I got from a coworker.

Opening the vacuum sealed package requires using a knife.

A knife I sliced toward myself.

A knife that slipped and I ended up nicking myself on the hip.

Put a nice little hole in my shirt.

So I sewed that up right after eating dinner.

Yes, I have mad knife skillz.

I'm sorry, did I say 'mad'? I meant 'bad'.

Cricket

2010-09-10T21:21:00.003-05:00

No matter what type of day I've had, nothing warms the cockles of my heart more than seeing the kids playing cricket at the park on my way home from work.

Frost Bank Billboard

2010-09-05T20:38:00.001-05:00

"If you want something done, tell a Texan it's impossible."
- Anonymous

Pedophiles

2010-08-31T22:31:00.002-05:00

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but for whatever reason, it set me off again.

Why does it seem like I'm the only person down here (being Texas) that thinks those stupid window stickers parents put on their cars here are stupid? These window stickers usually contain the child's name, the sport they partake in, their jersey number, and the school where they play this sport. Plus if you follow the vehicle in question to their house, you now have the address of the potential victim.

I mean really, it surprises me there aren't more reports of kids being kidnapped.

Poker

2010-08-18T20:29:00.004-05:00

Shawn and I have been watching Top Shot on Hulu recently. Top Shot is one of those reality competition shows, and in essence the premise is that team A is supposed to beat team B in a head to head competition that somehow is using some form of weapon generally used to kill people, and requires some skill to do so. And it's not like they just use your every day Glock, they switch it up between odd-ball weapons (throwing knives) and old-timey (1873 Winchester rifles). Oh sure they'll have some newer guns in there (like an AK-47 or sniper rifle).

The episode we watched last night (which is like episode 8 or something) involved an elimination challenge of using a Peacemaker (the gun Wyatt Earp used) to shoot at playing cards (face up) on a large board 25-yards away. The goal was to get the best poker hand possible if you were playing 7 card stud. Both players were able to get a royal flush easily. The second round was the same concept only with 5 card stud, and the cards that had already been used could not be used again.

Player A shoots for and scores a 2 of spades (slight confusion because why go for the straight flush when you can still go for the royal flush?)
Player B shoots for and misses an Ace
Player A shoots for and scores the 6 of spades
Player B decides to play defensively and gets the 5 of spades
Player A shoots the 4 of spades
Player B is going for the "4 of a kind" and gets the 5 of hearts
Player A totally spazes out and decides he wants, aims for, and shoots the 4 of hearts (WTF?!)
Player B shoots the 5 of clubs
Game over

Seriously, I want to play poker against that guy.

August 15

2010-08-15T13:11:00.002-05:00

To my dear and wonderful husband on our 5th wedding anniversary,

Thank you for not laughing too hard when I sliced my knee open on your license plate. Again. And thank you for putting up with my hysterics in regards to slicing open my knee on your license plate. Again. This time though, is just the equivalent of a paper cut. So, that's good. That means I won't be threatening to pass out and making you go to the store specifically to buy me butterfly bandages. But really, I could use some ice cream. That would definitely help. And I'll try not to do this again. But maybe it's a sign that I should stop doing laundry. You don't mind, right?

Yours,
Katina

But really, thanks for the last 5 years, they were wonderful. What do you say we give it another 5?

678: iPhone vs. Droid vs. Blackberry

2010-08-13T20:30:00.002-05:00

I was forwarded this article from today: iPhone users have the Most Sex.

For those of you who don't care to read it, I shall summarize:

According to a survey by OK Cupid, iPhone users had the most sex partners, followed by Blackberry and then Android users coming in third.

I don't know what to make of this...but they're saying 1 of 2 things: girls with iPhones are easy or girls with iPhones are hot.

discuss amongst yourselves.

Pocky

2010-08-11T23:00:00.003-05:00

Have you seen these delicious little cracker-sticks covered in chocolate? If you do ever see them, I fully recommend buying a pack and then eating them before you even get to your car.

Shawn has his first run in with the Pocky the other day. He was talking to it. Coaxing the broken halves in the bottom of the wrapper to come out because if they didn't, they were going to melt. He finally ascertained that they were indeed melted to the packaging and he stated "don't worry little Pocky! I'll save you!" before ripping the packaging to shreds and licking all the melted chocolate off of the inside of the baggie.

Seriously, almost as addicting as crack.

irksome

2010-08-09T22:53:00.002-05:00

it really irks me when I'm watching Last Comic Standing and one of the comics does a bit that has been done by others far greater and far better.

The show we watched tonight had 2 such instances. One where Natasha (looking much like a little girl who decided to play dress up in Betty White's closet) did a joke that had already been told earlier this year and aired on TV. It was a bit about how reality TV competitions are out of control and the final two will decide who was the top six that will decide which 5 are going home or some such.

the second instance was where Greg decided to recite the last verse of Lazyboy's "Underwear goes inside the pants" song. Practically verbatim. Which, fine, I get that he was the one that did the speaking part on the song, and that the song was released 6 years ago, but still. It's been done.

The only bright spot thus far (we have 20 minutes left to go) was Tom Papa who is the host on the Marriage Ref ("men are like sick bears from Chernobyl...")

Hammer and Coop

2010-08-07T19:00:00.000-05:00

We were talking about this at dinner last night:

Now then, if only I could remember what I was supposed to watch...